When a husband and wife team have a shared vision – and then pursue this vision – they impact the world around them. And they build a strong marriage.
This couple met in Paragould, Arkansas when they were in the 5th grade. They began dating in their junior year and in 1969 were married. They have 5 children and 13 grandchildren.
So far they sound like a pretty normal couple, right?
What makes Fielden & Janet unique? Their “why”.
Already as young adults, they had a shared desire to be missionaries in Africa. While they attended University they became a part of a mission team which moved to Uganda, Africa in 1972.
From fleeing Uganda (because of Idi Amin) in December 1972, to time in Kenya till 2006 they ministered to over 250 congregations, and built primary and high schools. They impacted countless people – young and old – for Christ. You’d think that would be a “great enough” vision, a good enough “why”, wouldn’t you?
With strong marriages & families…
Then, in 2006 this leadership couple moved forward to work in another mission in Tanzania. Since 1984 this couple has been involved in marriage and family training in Kenya (which makes sense, if you think of being active in congregations and schools), so once in Tanzania they began “The Africa Institute of Marriage and Family”.
Janet and I first began our ministry of family counseling in 1984 when four young couples came to us for advice….
…We began to notice that many African couples were struggling and needed good godly teaching and counseling…
… Janet and I are compelled to do all we can, in every place we can, to strengthen the marriages and families of God’s people in Africa. With stronger families they can better preach Christ to their fellow tribesmen.
Janet & Fielden carry on in their mission both in Tanzania and Swaziland. (read more here.) I don’t belong to their church group, and I know that there are many strong couples serving in missions all over the world. I use this couple as an illustration.
Know your “why”.
Last week I was part of a visitor’s day sponsored by a group of ladies in business. There I met Vi – she and her husband are working together to improve the health of people around them. (they sell a product). When I asked her what the best thing about working together in this part-time business is, she said:
It saved our marriage. We had nothing in common until we found (this product). And now we’re out together all the time and involved in helping people become healthy.
Vi and her husband have found a “why” – their “why”. It’s building a stronger marriage.
What do you do – together with your spouse – that strengthens your marriage?
Is it your “why”?
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*This post – the 1st of 7 – is prompted by a post on my husband’s blog – FergusonValues. It’s one of my favorite posts of his, so far … 🙂 Can you imagine what Robert and my “why” is… ?
When your spouse tells you their dreams – their hopes and a vision for the future – do you listen?
Recently I was in the studio, watching as a couple married 22 years filmed and talked about listening & hearing…
When was the last time you listened – and heard – as your love talked about their vision for the future? Maybe you can sneak away from all the rush this weekend, and talk – and listen…
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The neat part of this couple’s journey is their desire to turn everything they do into a way to serve the Lord. My husband did the interviews, as a part of a series on values and Leadership Couples. You can see his post here.
If you’re interested in seeing some of Aimee’s portraits, take a look at her website.
Is there a person who has had an impact on you as a husband/wife?
Sometimes couples immediately identify someone who has impacted their marriage life for the positive. Often it’ll be parents or grandparents. That’s good. And right. Sometimes it’ll be a minister, or a couple who formally mentors other couples, and sometimes it’ll be friends.
Once a couple starts to talk about who has influenced them, this question triggers conversation on what each person feels is important in a marriage.
I believe there are many people who impact our marriage. But we don’t always take note. Sometimes we’re influenced even in just a passing encounter…
What got me thinking about this today? A post by Dr. Ann at The Marriage Checklist. This couple she writes about shared a Bible verse with her – and she remembers that they held hands. It’s been 15 years – and she still thinks about them.
So – I have a question for you today:
Who influences your marriage?
Pay attention to who is influencing your marriage – for the positive. Say something to them – give thanks for them. Let them know why they have been a positive influence on your marriage. Even the strongest marriage relationship can use some affirmation!
Talk to your spouse about who has been an influence on their understanding of what a husband or wife could/should be. You may be surprised at the answer. It’ll definitely create conversation.
What if you don’t have any positive ‘influencers’ for your marriage?
Robert and I enjoy reading, and we learn a lot from books and blog posts on marriage enrichment. But there’s something extraordinary to experience when you spend time – face to face – learning from and with another married couple…
Perhaps it’s the right time to look for marriage mentors?
We can learn a lot from other couples about encouraging our spouse!
Imagine a book filled with letters – from a husband to his wife.
In these letters, spanning the course of about 50 years – 1952-2002 – he tells her how much he loves her and talks about how her love makes him feel:
…Your gift to me is uninsurable. No appraiser can put a value on it… It’s like fruit of the month or a lifetime subscription – a perpetual-motion happiness machine. It starts off fresh and brand new every day, shining up my whole world…
This man eventually was diagnosed with Alzheimers, and died in 2004. His wife still lives in California.
As I’m reading this book – all these beautiful, touching, funny letters – I’m so thankful to his wife for sharing. It’s a beautiful tribute to a man others may only see as a political figure.
I see them as husband and wife.
Encouraging each other. Loving each other. Living life together. Leading a meaningful life – together. Raising children. Making an impact on the world – together.
Would you like to meet this husband?
He is the husband of Nancy. His name is Ronald.
Ronald Reagan – 40th President of the United States of America
Here are a few more quotes from the book:
But what is really important is that having fulfilled our responsibilities to our offspring we haven’t been careless with the treasure that is ours – namely what we are to each other.
I’m looking at you as you lie here beside me on this fifteenth anniversary and wondering why everyone has only just discovered you are the First Lady. You’ve been the First – in fact the only – to me for fifteen years.
We’re back with Mary & Charles again today. In November they came into the studio to film, and answer a few questions on marriage. They’ve been married 54 years.
In these videos they talk love –
the waxing and waning –
and how to move forward:
and finally – Mary & Charles say:
Love is an act of will.
Here are the other posts with insight from Mary & Charles:
He is the husband of Nancy. His name is Ronald.
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