Encouraging Words for your Wife on a Difficult Day

Encouraging words for your wife might be hard to find on a celebratory day she finds difficult.

Encouraging words for your wife might be hard to find on a day she finds difficult.

In North America we celebrate “Mother’s Day” on the second Sunday in May.

For many deeply distressing reasons, Mother’s Day is not always a day all women can embrace. Perhaps infertility is a constant wound. Perhaps they’re grieving over a baby who never took a breath, or a child who died or was killed… perhaps they’re in anguish over a child who won’t or can’t call them “mom”, yet their hearts love with a motherly love. Perhaps it’s an adoption that didn’t happen, yet they continue to love that child, wherever he or she may be…

For other women it’s another celebratory day in the year: birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving… it doesn’t matter what the day celebrates – it’s what that day represents to your wife. And it’s hard.

As a man, you might understand how your wife feels about that dreaded day. Or you might not. At least not fully.

But you still care about your wife. You still want to encourage her – you want to provide that bit of extra care which transcends her hurting/anger/guilt/sorrow/distress/anguish…

Where do you start with encouraging words for your wife?

Maybe you start without words?

extra long hugs – many hugs – hugs that are gentle and silent
an arm around her shoulder as you sit together, or walk into church
holding her hand – clasping it securely, with a loving grip
encouraging her to put her feet up on your lap as you sit together – and give her a foot massage
a passing caress – she might be concentrating, but a touch to let her know you care won’t be amiss
a gentle kiss on her cheek – or her forehead
a loving, warm and patient smile as she struggles.

Maybe you start by praying for her – even as the day she finds so difficult approaches.

ask God to bless her with peace – His peace.
pray that she will feel God’s perfect love, first and foremost.
ask her (and your) Heavenly Father to help her see your love.
ask that you have a patient and wise heart, as she battles her own emotions
pray that God will bring into her life those she needs to surround her to lessen her distress
ask for help in finding the right words, at the right time, with the right tone

Are there encouraging words for your wife on a difficult day?

I’m not sure I can give you those encouraging words – here on this blog. I don’t even know if any words will work to encourage your wife… however you can try these:

“I love you.”

Remind her of your love. Your unconditional, steadfast, and loyal love. Your over-the-top, without prerequisite love. Be selfless in your love. Serve your wife in love. Love heals.

“I’m here with you. I’m here for you.”

Remind her that she is not alone in her distress. Her grief and anguish is seen and heard. She’s not battling her feelings in a void – anger, hurt, resentment, misery, ache and depression – you are with her. Demonstrate your strength by being gentle.

Have Courage. Encourage.

Encouragement is made up of five ingredients; hope, faith, love, prayer and action.

give your wife hope for the future – consider what you two can look forward to… Our God is a God of HOPE!
use your faith in God to encourage your wife – fortify her with your faith.
love her with a Christ-like, selfless love.
pray for her – pray over her – pray silently, pray together. Ask God to encourage your wife.
take over-the-top, without restraint action to encourage in the ways your wife responds to – use her Love Language.

This day won’t stop being difficult.

This day won’t stop being difficult, even after it passes. Chances are, it’ll still be hard again next year. I’m imagining you’d love to change circumstances, but it’s not within your power. I’m sorry.

But Robert and I are here to encourage you – the husband!

Don’t give up! Continue. Be steadfast. Be loyal.