Check in with your spouse – especially if you’re going to pray for her – for him. It’s a good idea. And we have a suggestion for you, even if your spouse isn’t very chatty about how they’re feeling, or what they’re concerned about. Why check in? We know you want to pray for your spouse.
For a while (and still every now and again) I’ve worked through a list from Stormie Omartian’s book, “The Power of a Praying Wife“. It’s a powerful book. (pun intended). Areas she’s written about to focus on are his job, his health, his relationship with God, his thoughts, etc. They’re all are covered in the pages of this book. (There’a companion book for husbands also.)
But what about specific areas? How can I know what to pray for in specific, targeted things Robert is worried/concerned about? And how does he pray for me?
Well… we do a check in with each other.
How to Check In With Each Other
Here’s one practical way Robert and I use to check in on each other:
Physical – Mental – Emotional – Spiritual
After we check in with each other, on our best days, we are GREEN across the board, under all four areas: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. (I don’t know where we got the idea of these four areas and checking in on them, but it’s been working for us for years.)
How does it work for us?
If Robert seems weighed down or not at his best, I ask him how he’s doing, and he responds with each area and a color. If we didn’t use this idea, I could guess… and maybe I’d be right. Maybe sometimes. Or maybe not much.
- I might guess that he’s disturbed by a challenge in his work. Instead, he has a bad headache. He’s a YELLOW physically.
- I might guess that he’s just tired. Instead, he’s mentally torn as he struggles to resolve a particular challenge on an important project. He’s a YELLOW mentally.
- I might guess he’s pondering over the book he’s currently reading. Instead, he’s anguishing over a serious financial issue. He’s a RED emotionally.
- I might guess that he’s just angry at the other drivers on the road. Instead, he’s feeling very weighed down in spirit because he’s seeking an answer from God and not yet received a response. He’s a RED spiritually.
Don’t guess. Guessing why your spouse is acting a certain way rarely works. Check in with each other.
So many misunderstandings could be avoided…however, some spouses don’t share – or can’t share – exactly what they’re feeling. That’s why using this list of four areas – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual – along with a color to describe how they’re feeling is a good way to begin.
And then you know exactly how to encourage your spouse!
- If your spouse is hurting physically, you can provide care, even if it’s only an ice pack and a kiss. And pray.
- If your spouse is caught up in their head, you can be a sounding board and listening ear. And pray.
- If your spouse is feeling pressed on every side emotionally, you can cry with them and remind them how much you and God loves them. And pray.
- If your spouse is being attacked spiritually, you can speak God’s Truth to them. And really pray.
When you know what’s not GREEN then you will know how to encourage.
And in everything, you can surround her/him in prayer!
Check in with each other – often. Be constant in prayer.
Here’s the book by Stormie Omartian I so enjoy using.
There’s a guy’s version also: The Power of a Praying Husband