I’ve been researching time management and procrastination. And yes, I’ll say it before you can think it: All the research might count as procrastination. 😉 I’ve ingested the poison of procrastination often…
Here’s my confession: We have a small issue with doing things at the last moment. Sometimes it’s a time management issue – sometimes it’s a procrastination poison. And when I say “we”, I mean me. And Robert. And our adult kids.
Are you seeing a trend? We have a new grandboy, and I really don’t want to pass this trend on to the next generation… Our family’s inside joke is to use the hashtag #fergusontime — usually in a text to each other when we’re running late.
Being Aware of Procrastination
As soon as I find myself procrastinating, I realized I need to be self-aware and determine exactly why I’m procrastinating…
Exactly. In detail. What am I afraid of? By being brutally honest with myself over the reason I’m procrastinating, I can address the fear (and it’s usually a stupid fear), to develop a solution, work-around, or strategy to begin – or more often, finish -whatever I’m avoiding. Yeah. I’m a great starter, but haven’t been as successful at finishing. Yet.
Here are 9 reasons we all procrastinate:
- fear of the outcome (good or bad)
- helplessness over a lack of knowledge
- boredom – a lack of interest
- perfectionism – if you can’t be perfect, what’s the point?
- saving energy for something else (otherwise known as laziness)
- fatigue – being just too tired, physically and mentally
- rebellion/resentment over the task
- no motivation – holding the belief that taking action won’t get you anything
- distraction – too many other things taking precedence
Have you ever encountered any of these issues?
I’m going to guess that you can relate with one or more of these nine reasons to procrastinate. I’m going to suggest that you’ve encountered them in many areas of your life; in your job, in your household work, in your health, in your fitness, in your undeclared goals (like writing a book, running a marathon, starting a business etc.), in parenting, and in relationships.
Do you ever procrastinate when it comes to your marriage?
- Do you put off spending time with your spouse because you really don’t want to talk about a certain issue?
- Do you let the busy-ness of life supersede your relationship?
- Are you fed-up with not having the marriage you’d hoped to have, so you avoid your spouse?
Where has procrastination crept into your relationship with your husband or wife?
I’m guessing you’ve used all these nine reasons to procrastinate in your marriage relationship at various times, for varying reasons… I just need to say:
Procrastination is an enemy of encouragement.
Yes. Just like procrastination is an enemy of achieving anything in life – succumbing to procrastination ensures you’ll never encourage your husband or wife. And… next I’ll have the audacity to take it further:
Procrastination poisons marriages.
Procrastination is a poison that causes good-hearted people, married to each other, to:
- Never make a positive impact in their marriage. They’re too caught up in the “what if” syndrome.
- Get stuck. A lack of information is like quicksand, sucking them down.
- Become a slave to boredom. Those spouses lose sight of how to make use of change.
- Circle the road to perfection. Nothing gets done because they’re trying to be perfect.
- Stop reacting to the warning sirens. They have no idea what’s really important.
- Collapse. They’re too tired to build a life filled with meaning.
- Lose connection with each other. They use procrastination to express their resentment.
- Grow apart. They’re so distracted by a million items, that they forget they’re a team.
Sounds pretty grim, doesn’t it… As I was researching, I realized how damaging procrastination really is to marriages.
And the realization that procrastination is poisoning marriages got me to take action… I kicked my own proclivity to procrastinate to the curb, and !finished! a book.
In the book I detail all nine reasons why we procrastinate in our marriage, and provide work-arounds, solutions, and suggestions to move past those procrastination poisons
The book is also available in paperback.
What if you want to get the free digital version, but don’t own a Kindle eReader? You can download the Kindle app to your smartphone, tablet, or computer. Click on the picture below to learn how.