Dream Team Planning and how to work your plan. That’s what the 5th mid-marriage encouragement video and this post is about!
There are 2 statements which show up over-and-over again when we speak with couples in the middle of marriage:
“Is this all there is?” and “We’ve grown apart.”
Sometimes those phrases are excuses. They become reasons why a couple won’t fight for their relationship. In other instances we hear those phrases when a couple truly doesn’t know where to go next in their relationship. They’re defaulting to chasing their own, singular goals.
Those two phrases raise the yellow caution flag for us. However.
Couples might find it easier to address those two statements than they believe.
They might be surprised at how simple it can be to grow closer together and feel re-energized by how much more there can be as a husband and wife leading a meaningful life!
What’s one idea to handle those two statements?
One idea to answer the question, “Is this all there is in my marriage?” and counter the feeling that you’re growing apart is to make a plan – together. Then work that plan. Yes. It can be that simple. (Simple… not easy. 😉 )
- It can be as small as finding an inspiring spot go on your next vacation, instead of the tried and true.
- the plan might be to serve your fellow humans in a new way (at church, a non-profit, or in your own business.
- a plan could come from a dream you both had as a young(er) couple… what have you forgotten that you once wanted to experience or do? Do some reminiscing and reflecting with THIS resource we’ve developed.
In our 5th Mid-Marriage video we encouraged you to go off-site to plan. We did this twice in our life, and it has had a profound impact. Here’s a book we recommend to shape your planning driven excursion – “48-hour Relationship Retreat“. It’s currently free in digital form if you have a KindleUnlimited account. It’s written by a husband and wife team, and it’ll get you thinking and doing – with a healthy heaping of laughter.
Once you have your plan for the Dream Team… then what?
We developed these 5 steps as we went through making a plan for one of our adventures as a husband and wife…
1 – Decide.
You can’t work as a team without agreeing on a course or direction. You can use your shared Values as a signpost and rumble strips as you’re deciding. Learn more about your shared Values as a couple here.
2 – Develop.
Make your plan. Even if it’s on-the-fly, or last minute, be strategic and know the steps you need to take. The more often you work as a team, the easier it’ll become.
3 – Divide.
Divide and conquer. As the dream team you need to know your roles, know your strengths and take action toward the goal. Yes, working together is sometimes best, but teamwork is as much about working on one goal separately, and using your strengths toward the common purpose. Have you ever done a strengths assessment? Here’s a great tool/assessement – we’ve done this as a family (our adult children and us) and it’s very insightful.
4 – Dig.
Dig in and dig deep – be persistent. Don’t let the first (or fifteenth) obstacle derail your efforts as the dream team! There will be roadblocks. The way might be slowed by dips or humps. You might need to take a detour. Don’t give up – DIG in. Be stubborn about your goal.
5 – Done.
Celebrate when you reach your goal! Every completed goal needs a bit of “hooray” – and what’s better than a bit of celebration with your spouse? 😉