Reliability is not a Value to take lightly.
When I was looking through the 24 “R” Values (from Robert’s 400+ defined Values), I hesitated to highlight it in this “A to Z” series. It’s not a frivolous, “feel good” quality. In fact, good marriages crumble because one spouse believed she/he couldn’t rely on the other…
Reliability – worthy of trust; dependable; faithful; authentic
Worthy of Trust. Finding the strength to trust your spouse, even when she/he is an imperfect person…
Dependable. Hoping that your spouse will be consistent in his/her positive behavior, despite circumstances…
Faithful. Believing your spouse will remain steadfast and true, even though the temptations are rampant…
Authentic. Knowing your spouse is real with you, sharing her/his true feelings…
See… there are four serious qualities making up the Value of Reliability.
Reliability is not for the faint of heart.
Is it even possible to be constantly, continually reliable – especially when it’s inconvenient – or even painful?
We’re all humans with a huge capacity to fail. We fail regularily, in small and huge areas. And our spouses are usually up front and center, quite close to that stinking burn of failure.
How could you ever have the Value of Reliability as one of your three Differentiating Values in marriage? Maybe a dose of selflessness…
Three ways to make Reliability work in your marriage:
- Don’t expect your spouse to be perfect. (There was only one perfect human on this earth – your spouse isn’t Him.) Build reliability into the smallest areas of your life first. Work from your strengths. Set up your world to make being reliable possible. Avoid what will cause a problem. Restructure. Be deliberate in choices. Decide – together – what will make being reliable easier… or harder. Make a plan to be reliable. Then stick to the plan. There’s going to be areas in your life where this Value has the most impact. Finances. Fidelity. Parenting. Healthy choices. It’s usually in an area where you’re especially tender.
- Learn how to forgive each other… because neither of you are perfect. You will both mess up. Become experts in expressing and demonstrating regret, and saying, “I’m sorry.” , and then letting the past go. Make a plan to do better. And then both of you work to not mess up in that same area again.
- Understand that the only One who is truly, always, and forever reliable is God. Don’t place expectations on your spouse that he/she can’t meet. Rely on… lean on… your loving Heavenly Father and your Savior Jesus. And remind your spouse that she/he can rely on God also. Together… with God, the three of you can be secure.
What would change in your marriage if you both were reliable?
I’m putting these posts – “A to Z” Values – all under the FAMILY portion of this site. Why? Every one of these Values words will be a blessing to each spouse – but more than that… they’ll benefit your whole family!
Imagine if you are motivated to become more reliable – what kind of impact will that have on your family? On your children? I’m guessing that your children and family will only benefit as they watch the two of you standing together – filled with trust, dependable, faithful and authentic.
This is part of an Instagram challenge for July 2016 – A to Z and a few numbers… ( check out our Instagram account) and it’s become a series of Values posts! The posts in this series can be found on the PAGE – 27 Values to Enrich your Marriage (BTW – If you’re reading this post before the end of July 2016, then the page isn’t complete… I’m still writing! 😉 )