Reflections - Good or Bad? - Encourage Your Spouse

How do you feel about mirrors?

I’m not impressed with my own reflection, and except for a cursory glance to be sure I’m presentable, it’s a rare day when I stand for any length of time in front of a mirror.

And those 3-way mirrors in clothing stores creep me out! Who are those extra people moving around beside me? One of me is more than enough, thank you very much!

At the conclusion of a haircut – after my talented hairdresser has done wonders with the mop on my head – and she hands me the small hand-held mirror and repositions my chair so I can see what a great job she’s done on the back of my head, I struggle to find the correct angle to view what she wants me to see. It’s a fight every time. You’d think after 30 or 40 years I’d have the hang of it!

In the end, mirrors are fine. They serve a purpose.

A mirror’s reflection is subject to what the person looking into it values.

When you look into a mirror – what are you looking for?

Signs of crows-feet? The nutty nose your heritage has gifted you with? Stray threads on your clothes, or an extra layer of dog hair? Parsley in your teeth, smudged mascara, a few stray chin hairs the razor has missed, or an uneven hem?

What good do you see in the mirror?

When you look into a mirror do you see anything you admire? Does your hair shine, do you love the color of your shirt? Does your smile light up your face? (Do you smile at yourself in the mirror? You should – everyone deserves a smile!)

Can you see in your reflection the good others see in you?

When you are complimented by others – your peers, your family, your spouse – can you identify what they’re admiring? Perhaps it’s not just your appearance they’re admiring, perhaps the good they’re seeing lies beyond the outside view.

Now – I’m not just talking about the physical. I’m talking about character words also…

Words are like a mirror.

Words reflect what we think of another person – how we view them and what we value about that person.

If your words were a mirror – what would your spouse look like to others?

When you describe your spouse, what words do you use?

How is your husband or wife described in the stories you tell of your life together? Do you only talk about the stuff where your spouse “messes up”? Or do you talk about all the good and kind and thoughtful things the one-you-love does for you?

Can you be confident your co-workers have a positive view of the one you love? If, when they first meet your spouse, and they say to him or her – “Oh, I’ve heard so much about you…” – what do they really mean?

If a stranger heard you talking about a certain incident in your life together, would that stranger want to meet your spouse?

Sometimes when we tell a story, our spouse doesn’t come out looking like the hero or heroine. We’re telling the story to get a laugh or a gasp of horror from our audience – our goal isn’t to honor our husband or wife.