Is now the best time to set goals in your marriage?

As a husband and wife, what’s your life like, right now?

Life flows …

Sometimes it’s slow and easy, calm and serene with not a ripple in sight. You can manage everything without any extra effort. As a husband and wife, you’re floating along – careful not to capsize, but enjoying the ride. Your relationship is not exactly exciting or fresh, but you’re content.

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Sometimes it’s choppy and wavy. There’s hardly a moment to catch your breath, and life feels like it’s spilling all over everywhere and making a mess. As a husband and wife, you’re managing the curves and dips, sometimes it’s fun, but it’s a fast ride and not for the faint of heart. You’re hanging on for dear-life -your relationship is almost an after-thought, because staying afloat is the name of the game.

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Sometimes it’s frozen – for a time. Chilly. Icy. Sluggish. Life has almost come to a stop, bumping up against chunks of ice. As a husband and wife, you’re maneuvering past sharp perils, even as you’re doing everything in your power to keep your relationship warm. You’re on edge – just waiting to hit “the big one”.

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When is it a good time to talk about setting goals?

Surely it’s a bad time to set goals when you’re worried about hitting a life-altering ice-berg in a frozen sea of obstacles? And it can’t be a good time to set any goals when life is racing forward, and you’re being drenched with all the unexpected waves of activity. You wouldn’t want to upset the quiet and peaceful times when life is just floating calmly along, would you?

The Perfect Time to Set Goals

When is it the perfect time to set goals?


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Now is a good time to set goals.

Yes. Now.

Time is going to continue to pass…

Life is going to continue to flow – in whichever phase it’s in…

At the very least, setting a goal will focus on making one thing better in your life.

How can you encourage your spouse – or your spouse encourage you – if you you’re just drifting along? 

Reaching to achieve goals, is the perfect way to be encouraged – and encourage!

And yes. You can, and should, set goals at every time in life.

Just be SMART about it!

Be Smart

There’s a good chance you’ve heard of the acronym SMART…  It’s a prevalent method of goal setting, with each letter representing criteria to set an objective.  It’s a good place to begin any goal – large or small, complex or simple.

S – specific (What, exactly, in detail, do you want to achieve?)

M – measurable (How will you know when you’ve reached your goal? Quantify it!)

A – achievable (What resources are needed – do you have them… including time?)

R – realistic and relevant (What’s the outcome – the change – you’re expecting?)

T – timed (Break it into steps. When will each step be completed?)

Sometimes a worksheet helps – click*** HERE *** to download a PDF of the worksheet below!

SMART Goals worksheet (1)

Connect with your spouse, and try using the PDF worksheet -( or just a piece of paper with the letters S-M-A-R-T )- and set a small goal. Really small. Then follow through!  Use each other’s strengths to make your goal a reality.

Other Methods

There are other methods to set goals together. Here are a few options I’ve found, and have been using just to try them out:

1. Wunderlist (digital)

Wunderlist is a free, easy-to-use task management tool. Create goals and to-dos in areas of your daily life, and assign them to lists of your making/choosing. The lists can be shared with your spouse!

Wunderlist works on Windows PCs, Mac OS X, iOS devices (such as iPhone, iPod Touch and iPad), on Android Phones and Tablets, and they sync so you have the latest version on whichever device you use. There is also a web based version, available at:

I’ve been using this digital list/goal device for a number of weeks to organize and stay current on my “work” goals. It’s very logical and provides a thrill when you “check-mark” your done items!

2. Dump Book (paper based)

I listen to the Cerrone Show as a podcast. On one episode they talked about a method to get control of all the areas of your life, by using an inexpensive three-ring book in a brain dump. The concept intrigued me, because I have quite a few different areas in my life where I contribute (here at EYS, on our travel blog, for client work, for Robert, as a content contributor at YourLocalStudio, and others) It always felt like I was falling behind everywhere because I was trying to keep stuff in my head!

By following their instructions on the podcast – you can listen to it here – I created my own DumpBook to get organized. It’s helped me so much so, that it was possible to create that PDF with Robert about 29 Reminiscing and Reflecting questions.

Though this method isn’t exactly a goal-setting exercise, it does allow you to see where you need to set goals! It would be fun to do this as a couple, and experience just how much is floating around in your spouse’s head – stuff that you share, and stuff that you had no clue was on your spouse’s heart.)

3. Goals Wizard with Brian Tracy – App for iOS

This free APP (yes, there’s a paid online version – but you can download and use portions of the program for free with the app on your iPhone & iPad) is a tool created by Yuval Goren, using Brian Tracy’s material. It’s a traditional goal-setting program for your mobile devices, which asks questions to help plan life goals.  I haven’t been using this as heavily as I thought I would, but it was a fun to explore and the questions really got me thinking.  The paid website is here – but download the app for the free version.

and lastly…

The book which I’ve been highlighting throughout this series of posts:

48 hour relationship retreat ad

This is an awesome book. It covers all the aspects of goal setting, within the framework of a “relationship retreat” and it’s for husbands and wives… by a husband and wife team.  

 If you subscribe to “Kindle Unlimited” on Amazon, you can download it for free. – click on the picture.

Win a Signed Copy!

Win a signed copy of this book by leaving a comment below!  

On February 28th I’ll be entering all the names of those who left a comment in these series of posts into – and choosing a winner!  You can enter more than once by leaving a comment on each post!  

(they include: Intentional Growth In Your Marriage  – 5 Ways to Set Goals Together – All the Possibilities – How to Choose Better Goals )

 What goals are you encouraging your spouse toward?

Does your spouse know your goals?

How can s/he encourage you if you haven’t told him/her?

Thankful to connect with 

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