Your new spouse? What? Isn’t that the same guy – the same gal – that’s been by your side for a decade… or more?
Sure it is. And isn’t. Take a look what we mean in our 3rd Mid-Marriage Encouragement Video!
Your New Spouse
We’re not the same people we were when we married – we’ve changed. Hopefully we’ve grown over the years. (In more ways than our pant size, anyway. 😉 )
Get excited about this newest version of your spouse.
Find the positives. They’re there. Looking backward, and moaning about what has changed isn’t going to help your relationship. Sure. There may be areas in which you need to re-ignite, but even that new re-ignition will look different.
Consider these areas where changes can be positive with your “new” spouse:
You know much more about each other today than you did at the beginning of your relationship, don’t you? But perhaps you don’t talk as much as you’d like… If your conversational skills need to be re-ignited, try out some of these conversation starters to reminisce and reflect. Reminiscing is a fun way to start a conversation. Reflecting is a useful way to decide what needs to stay the same, and what needs to change. Robert and I wrote this resource in 2015 after we completed our yearly exercise of doing “plates” with our adult children.
Your intimate connection.
Yes. I meant sex. 😉 Robert and I aren’t called to write about sex in marriage, but we feel strongly that a close and vital physical connection is imperative to a good marriage. We have good online friends who write about sex in marriage from a Christian perpective. If this is an area of your marriage that needs to be re-ignited, then please, please don’t wait another day. This might be difficult to address… Especially if you’re carrying around more of you than when you first married… Chris at Forgiven Wife has written a very special and gentle 2-part post about enjoying a plus-size sex life. Part 1 – Part 2 Re-igniting your sexual joys might be difficult of you’re dealing with low-libido as a wife – Bonny at Oysterbed7 writes through a Christian lens about this. Her book, Unlock Your Libido is a wonderful resource. If you want to start a conversation about sex with your spouse – read her post about 25 reasons God made sex good! (that could start an interesting conversation… and more!)
Your hobbies and activities.
Discovering ways to serve and encourage others while you and your spouse enjoy each other is another way to meet this new version of your spouse. Robert and I brainstormed to find ideas on how to encourage each other, while serving others and came up with 12 date ideas. These dates will answer the question, “Is this all there is to our marriage?” in a positive way! I believe in the middle of marriage we forget that we can have fun while we’re serving. (fill in the form below to get the 12 date ideas)
What other ways have you and your spouse grown… changed… for the better?
What’s positive about your new spouse?