Happy Anniversary – You come first! Could you say your spouse gets your best without her or him snorting or guffawing with derision?
Does your spouse have the best of you – before any other human being? Before the children? Just consider – children grow up and go to live their own lives. You and your spouse started together and before you know it, it’ll be just the two of you again. And that’s a good thing. Really!
What about grandchildren? Could your spouse say that he or she comes before the grandchildren in your heart? That’s a hard question in our life right now. 😉 That grandboy has us wrapped around his little finger!
Is your spouse more important than work commitments? Yes, I know we all need to earn enough for the necessities of life, however, work can become an addiction. An obsessed spouse can’t give their best.
“Just let me…” At times the work which can take preference has nothing to do with earning money. Work could be cleaning, or crafting, or computer time. It’s all justifiable. But does work (in whatever form) take precedence over time with your spouse? Just asking…
Leftover or the Best?
What happens when you give your time to other things before your spouse? The leftovers aren’t worth much. Your spouse gets much less than your best.
Although it isn’t always practical for your spouse to have your first attention – it is good to give your spouse your best!
You Come First
How do you show your spouse that he or she comes first before any other human? Maybe it can’t be with your time if this is an overwhelming season. But let’s do some brainstorming here…
- “the best” could be a dedicated few hours every week to do something together – just the two of you – with no interruptions. Maybe you could explore a new hobby? Or try one of these date ideas or one of these or even a simple, comfortable Chai Tea get-together?
- you could demonstrate your spouse comes first in your heart by consistently and deliberately speaking his or her love language. Read this to understand what we mean. Fill up his or her love tank.
- perhaps this is the time to give up something? Stop doing that “something” which has been a contention between the two of you. Or retire a pursuit. Yes, it’s a sacrifice. Gary Thomas wrote an interesting book, “Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?” which might open your heart.
Move toward each other – You Come First!
It took years for me to understand I have a Christian obligation to continually move toward my wife. I thought that as long as I didn’t attack my wife or say cruel things to her, I was a “nice” husband, but the opposite of biblical love isn’t hate, it’s apathy. To stop moving toward our spouse is to stop loving him or her. It’s holding back from the very purpose of marriage.
from Gary Thomas’ book, “Sacred Marriage: What if God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?”
Just so we understand each other, Rob and I feel that God as the center of your life is key to a successful marriage, and for every other part of life. When we talk about putting your spouse before any other human being, we also want to encourage you to center all your life around God. Let Him and His Son be your focus like the sun is the center of the universe. Worship God together. After all, He gave you your spouse to love!
This is the third of ten ideas on what to say – and do – to make your anniversary special.
Click the picture to read the accompanying post!