Fawn – the writer and heart behind The Happy Wives Club posted this quote:
There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.
~Ronald Reagan
This caused me to reflect on how my response has changed when I know Rob has arrived home and is coming up the walkway…
When our kids were small, they became very excited when Daddy walked in the door. Because we home-schooled, we were able to shape our lives to fit into Robert’s schedule. There were times when he needed to travel and we went along. Other times, the kids and I would have breakfast with him because we knew he had client meetings till late in the evening. But when Rob walked in the door, it was an event.
Of course, our lives have changed over the years.
Now the kids are grown and gone. It’s just Robert, our 13 year old German Shepherd and me.
For a while, Katie (the German Shepherd) was the only one still greeting Robert at the door. Her tail would wag ecstatically and she would butt her head against his legs and get hair all over… (anyone with a shepherd understands the “hair” issue). I could hear Rob talking to her, and her tail whacking against the door or wall. Once Katie the dog, was less excited, Robert would wander down the hall or into the kitchen to find me.
One day it hit me -my husband – the guy I love more than any person on this earth -was being greeted by a dog when he came home… not by me. There was a disconnect somewhere between my feelings and my actions.
Frankly, it was pretty sad that the dog got there first.
Since that time, the dog and I compete on who gets to door first! (Unfortunately/fortunately, Katie is now mostly deaf, so I have the advantage!)
So my question to you is:
Do your actions reflect your love?
Maybe it isn’t the “door greeting” that’s an issue in your relationship.
- Maybe it’s how you spend your “free” time?
- Maybe it’s who you think of first when it comes to gift giving?
- Maybe it’s because you aren’t (really) praying for your spouse?
- Maybe it’s who you cater to when you prepare your meals?
- Maybe it’s who you first go to when you’re feeling low, or celebrating something.
Only you know if there’s a disconnect between your actions and what you feel for your spouse.
The feeling is mutual.
Every time I walk in the door my heart always looks for you. If the dog (or the kids) manage to get to me first, my real joy is finding my way to you. Then I know I’m home.
🙂 ((hug))
This is so important, not just in marriage but also in our spiritual walk. Your description sounds like a ‘ditto’ of our home, (we are a homeschooling family) and yes, there was a disconnect for me too. I didn’t understand the negative impact of this lack of action (thinking it’s ok for kids and dogs to go ahead) and me wait in the wings (usually in the kitchen) or not even to make an advance to the door. If Darrell is as important as I ‘say’ he is … it should show in my actions.
And thanks for the list, marriage is important and something we can all strive to do better!
It’s funny how we can move through life and it takes a little while to connect with what really has impact – in faith, in marriage, in parenting … That’s where I believe prayer and a quiet “time” to hear the answer, has value.
Thank you for sharing, Robyn. I’m thrilled to be able to connect with you!
Good post, thanks for the reminder.
Thanks, Sharon. Sometimes it’s the small stuff we stumble over… (sigh).
This stabbed me to the quick. Thanks for the wakeup call.
Praying God directs your actions, Kezia and blesses you. My heart is with you…
Thanks Lori, This is a great reminder. It really is the little things that add up throughout our days/weeks/years. We try so hard to “get it all done” that we forget to DO for the ones that mean the MOST to us.
I am going to try to put this into practice for the rest of the month, cause it only takes 21 days to create a habit. Small goal, for a BIG return. Letting my DH know how much he means to me.
Wonderful, Dyrene! Will you tell him what you’re doing, or just let him figure it out? I’d love to know how it goes… 😉
This is spot on Lori, and I have also just started paying attention to how I greet my husband after he’s been gone all day. These are the small things that make a big difference! Thanks for this post.