Who energizes you?
I like people.
I like to talk to people.
I like to visit with people.
I like to interact with people.
But talking, and visiting and interacting takes a lot of energy.
My energy – physical, mental and emotional – is drained when I spend time talking, visiting, and interacting with people. They might be my close friends, or fascinating new acquaintances, or wildly funny couples, or compelling story-tellers, but eventually I just need to find a corner and have a bit of quiet. Yes, I’m an introvert. A highly social introvert, but still an introvert.
Robert, my husband, is one person with whom I can spend extended periods of time, and still be energized. In fact, I’ll wander down the hall to find him if I’m feeling a little blue, or somewhat blah… his smile picks up my spirits, and he’s always ready to share something interesting. He energizes me.
I’m wondering – all you introverts out there – does your spouse energize you?
How do you interact with your spouse that is different than others? I believe even introverts can be energized by their spouse if they’re feeling connected.
I’m not a social scientist, so I don’t have any research to show – it’s just a hunch…
(what do you think?)
Now, maybe you are an extrovert – so being with people is fun and energizing for you.
How is it different with your spouse? In what ways does your spouse charge up your emotional spirit that others don’t? Who energizes you?
Let’s share about who energizes you!
Here’s an interesting exercise – I have NO clue of its validity – but it was interesting. It’s from Eberly College in West Virginia:
http://www.as.wvu.edu/~richmond/measures/introversion.pdf
It’s a series of 18 questions, with an equation to measure a person’s introversion. Apparently most college students score at 19 on a scale between 12 and 36. (the higher the number the more introverted the person may be). I scored at 31.
Another thought…
From experience, I know that when I’m really drained of energy – spiritually, emotionally and even physically – the only answer is to be connected to the One who made all things. God. And His Son, Christ Jesus.
No person – husband or wife – can take the place of God. We’re being selfish and unrealistic if we put that burden on our spouse. And if we believe we alone can re-energize ourselves, then we’re facing ultimate, long-term failure. Separation from God equals death.
Just another thought…
UPDATED – April 15, 2017 –
This is a great question: does my spouse energize me? When I’m feeling down or upset, I need my husband’s embrace and presence. His hugs are so comforting. When I’m frustrated, I need my husband’s advice. But does he energize me? Often he can make me feel better, but I’ll admit sometimes it’s tiring to feel like we constantly have to be doing something (my husband is a doer, not a talker). On the other hand, it’s nice to sit and watch something and cuddle when I need to relax. All in all, we’re learning the delicate balance between letting go of “busyness,” and keep from pressuring one another into “doing too much” and enjoying doing things together.
Thanks for your thoughts, Hannah. My husband is also the “doer” in our relationship – he’s happy when there’s an agenda to tackle. Me? Not so much – I’m the peace and quiet pursuer.
Being energized can also be sketched as being emotionally recharged – I also go to my hubby for a hug, and for advice, etc. I think your comments highlighted other ways to be recharged…
Hi Lori – My husband, sons and sisters are the only people I can be around for extended periods without losing energy. With everyone else, I need a “recharge” after I spend time with them. Not that I don’t like them or that they’re exhausting people, just that my introversion kicks in! I really only understood the “energy” differentiation between extroverts and introverts in recent years – it’s fascinating how it works.