Success – Where does it start?

Those who believe in our ability do more than stimulate us.  They create for us an atmosphere in which it becomes easier to succeed. 

John H. Spalding

Success = A Favorable Outcome

I think we’d all like to succeed – whether it’s in small stuff like managing our daily routine, or big stuff like completing a project or huge stuff like raising children, or leading an organization. 

How do you ‘set the stage’ for success?

Setting the stage for success happens at many points in the journey -at the beginning, during and even at the (perceived) end.

Set up – When beginning a new venture, or working through an ongoing challenge, expecting success is imperative. 

When the one-you-love is involved in an activity, can you anticipate what success will look like?  Have you talked with your spouse about what the end result could be? 

Even devastating experiences – unemployment, illness, tragedy or accident – will have some components to work together for good.  I believe eventhough not all things are good, they can add up for our good.  (see Romans 8:28)

When setting up ask:  “What does success look like?”

Step up  –   If you and your spouse are in the midst of a huge experience and the opportunity for the original success isn’t possible, then think about re-framing your experience. 

First – Acknowledge emotions/feelings.  Providing a safe spot for the one-you-love to moan and complain and cry and grumble and rage and sniffle and sigh is a significant gift.  But don’t join the pity-party.  Your job is to throw water on the fire – not gasoline.

Next – Look for the big picture.  Become an archivist: identify, then analyse relevant slices of your experiences to build an authentic, cohesive history. 

Last – Scenario build.  Brainstorm.  Re-frame.  Sketch a series of small steps to move forward.

When stepping up, ask:  “What one thing can we do today to move forward?”

*Hush up – There’s great value in encouraging your spouse to move at their own pace. 

Chances are, you and the one-you-love don’t accomplish things in the same manner or style.  That’s normal.  Sometimes it’s just a good thing if you hush up and let them do it in their own style.  Maybe  you’ll learn something new – maybe their skills will grow through the experience. 

It’s all about respect.

When hushing up, state:  “Do it the way you think is best – I’m here to support you.”

(*If I was sticking to my letter-s alliteration, I’d use the term “shut up”.  But I didn’t let my kids ever use that term, Robert and I have never used that phrase, and even though it might be more of a catchy concept, I find I can’t even write with that verbage… <sigh> )

Creating an atmosphere to succeed isn’t easy.  Most times it forces you to be proactive.

How have you ‘set up’ your spouse to succeed?