Laugh together. It’s a wonderful gift to be able to laugh together as a husband wife. And this tandem laughter is another way to show you value your spouse if you understand what he or she finds funny. This post is 6th post in a series of a 10 point marriage tune up.

When was the last time you chuckled, guffawed, snorted and had a good laugh together?

I imagine you enjoy laughing with your spouse. Rob and I love to laugh together.  It’s the best feeling to have your ribs hurting because of a bout of unrestrained humor.  Think of all the variations of humor you could enjoy together: 

  • slapstick,
  • situational humor,
  • quick verbal repartee,
  • puns,
  • practical jokes,
  • dry humor,
  • and more!

As wonderful as all these kinds of laughter are, there may be times when what you find funny isn’t something that makes your spouse laugh. As much a laughing together is important, it’s also imperative to understand your spouse’s sense of humor. 

Understand your spouse’s sense of humor.

Jokes are great – laughter is healthy.  But not everyone is comfortable with raw humor or teasing comments, especially in public. You may not have thought of humor as a way to show your spouse you value them… but it can be.

Show you value your spouse by being sensitive and discerning.

If your spouse is sensitive – to risque humor or humorous personal stories – then now is time to discuss the topic of good humor and uncomfortable humor. Preferably have this conversation in private between just the two of you.

  • ask you spouse for their favorite comedians – this will give you a clue
  • ask if you’ve ever embarrassed your spouse in public because of a joke
  • ask if you have ever shared a personal story (you found funny) that your spouse didn’t appreciate being shared

This might be a tender topic. It might hold some surprises for both of you. We don’t always call out our spouse in public when a story hurts or a joke makes us uncomfortable. It might be forgotten after the fact. Now is the time to discuss it – when nobody is heated or hurt. Once you both know what each other finds funny, then you can decide how to handle the humor.

Decide on a plan of action – perhaps you only share risque jokes when your spouse isn’t with you – perhaps you never share a personal humorous story that involves your spouse.

To show your spouse you value him/her, settle on a comfortable plan to honor your spouse’s sense of humor.

Then go ahead – laugh together!

Go on YouTube and take turns sharing the comedy you both like. Seek to understand what your spouse finds funny. It’s always possible to learn new ways to laugh together!

As an example – we’ll share what makes us both laugh:

Here’s a movie that makes Rob and me laugh  Have you hear of My Man Godfrey
My Man Godfrey is a favorite for both Rob and me because it has witty dialogue and slapstick humor with great performances by accomplished actors. We quote from this movie with each other and our adult children. It’s a great combination of a romance and comedy. Here’s the description from Amazon:

“My Man Godfrey is one of the top Screwball Comedies of all time. The story of a wealthy New York family in the 1930’s that brings in Godfrey, a destitute and Forgotten Man as their butler. William Powell plays the leading role brilliantly and gives the family a madcap ride they will never forget. My Man Godfrey was the first film to receive Oscar® nominations in all four acting categories, including stunning performances by William Powell and Carole Lombard.”

Our regular, almost every day laughs come from a more common source: The Big Bang Theory 
With 10 seasons available on DVD we chuckle every night. This is Robert’s favorite series right now, although he prefers the first few seasons as opposed to the more recent ones.

This is Robert’s favorite series right now, although he prefers the first few seasons as opposed to the more recent ones. We have watched these DVDs so often that we can quote lines…

If life gets strained, we’ve used these short episodes (without ads they’re only 20 minutes) to unwind at the end of the day. It’s something so familiar right now that they’re almost comforting… Is that healthy? Maybe. 🙂  “They” do say that laughter is a good medicine, right?

And as another example, we find dark British humor entertaining… (Not everyone would find this movie funny – but we do!) It’s filled with a stellar cast:  Maggie Smith, Rowan Atkinson, Kristen Scott Thomas, and even Patrick Swayze.

Keeping Mum is a dark comedy. Oh, but so funny. This is another movie we’ve shared with select friends and our adult children. It has us saying, “Shall I put the kettle on?”… and then giggling. 😉 And when someone at church references needing to do the flowers for the Sunday… well, we just look at each other and howl.

Which comedies make you laugh together?

Which ones do you share with friends? Leave a comment!

 Read the other posts in the 10-point Marriage Tune-Up HERE