Where does prayer start?  When are you prompted to pray?

Do you pray for your husband or wife?

Or do you just think about it…

I’ve been reading a book on prayer and the church – “The Prayer Saturated Church” by Cheryl Sacks.  There’s nothing (much) about praying on a personal level – it’s all about setting up a prayer ministry within a church setting.  But I came across a phrase on page 160 that got me thinking:

All intercession is prayer, but not all prayer is intercession.  Prayer is talking with God.  Intercession is petitioning God for the needs of another.

The writer goes on to talk about examples in the Bible of people who prayed for cities and nations, and because of their prayers, history changed.

What needs to change in your marriage?

Our houses look different right now – we’re in the Christmas season.  Decorations and frou-frous and bright, sparkling do-dads abound.  But once Christmas is over, and we take down the decorations, NOTHING has changed.  We’re back to what’s always been there.

Similarly, we can use date-nights, and presents, kisses and hand-holding, cruises and  compliments to decorate our marriage.  Are these things valuable, enjoyable and relationship-enhancing?  Absolutely!  But what (often) happens when they’re completed?

The relationship remains the same, because the people in the marriage are the same.  Only growth causes true change.

If you want growth –

Start with prayer for your spouse. 

Be an intercessor. 

Pray for the needs of your spouse. 

But be clear – being an intercessor isn’t about you.

At the end of this post I’m going to give you some suggestions for books and links to resources about praying for your husband or wife.  If you read through the suggestions you’ll think – “oh great stuff – if only…”. 

If read in the wrong focus, you’ll translate the ideas into “If I pray this – then I’ll get that.”  It’s not about you!  This is where you have to really identify your intention: Are you praying for your needs to be met – or to help your spouse?  Is the change or growth you’re praying for to help you …

Intercession is petitioning God for the needs of another.

What is “for” your spouse – what is “for” you… it doesn’t have to be murky or undefinable.  Obviously, whatever growth comes into your spouse’s life will affect you.  

Think about becoming Christ-like.  This is the focus. 

Imagine if both of you – husband & wife – were moving towards becoming Christ-like…  wouldn’t that effect the future?

Here are some suggestions to learn more about praying for your wife or husband:

• Stormie Omartian – she’s the author of the books, “The Power of a Praying® series”.  I’d recommend both:  The Power of a Praying Wife  and The Power of a Praying Husband .
• Will Davis Jr. ‘s book:  Pray Big for Your Marriage – there are separate sections on how to pray for your husband/wife – chapters 7 & 8.   It also has a 31-day prayer guide.
• Paul David Tripp’s book:  What Did You Expect?? – Chapter 16 – talks about the transforming power of prayer.  (Thanks Debi & Tom Walters – this is a favorite book at The Romantic Vineyard!)
• an internet resource that corresponds with the book “How to Pray for your Wife” by Mark A. Weathers
• an internet resource about praying for 31 days for your husband by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Please – leave a comment…

Do you have favorite resources about praying for your spouse?

ps.  If your spouse’s Love Language is words of affirmation – perhaps hearing you pray for her/him would be a valuable gift…