Playfulness is a trait more likely to be attached to teenagers (or even children) than to a husband and wife married for a few decades. And yet. The Value of Playfulness might just be the way to renew your relationship, to add some spark, or even a touch of gentleness. Playfulness is about the the fun in life – it’s about enjoying each other. It’s the warmth of sharing a slow and steady amusement. It’s shared smiles.

Imagine if a doctor would prescribe you a dose of Playfulness…

Playfulness – full of fun and high spirits; a disposition that creates amusement

what will mer her or him smile - add some playfulness

Imagine a few playful ways to make your spouse smile!

1. Tell her or him a joke. (Reader’s Digest is a great resource.)
2.  Sing your wife or husband the song, “You are my sunshine.” – leave it on their voicemail.
3.  Draw a picture of the two of you kissing (even if it’s stick figures with labels) as an IOU. Leave it under his/her toothbrush.
4.  Make her/him hot chocolate with a spritz of whipped cream. Put some whipped cream on your upper lip & serve it.
5.  Find an old photo of the two of you & post it on Facebook with the caption, “She/He makes me smile.”
6.  Make her/him a crown from tin foil. Label it “Queen”/”King” of my heart. Present it with a bow/curtsy.
7.  Wear a T-Shirt that expresses your positive feelings about being married.
8.  Tie a red paper heart onto her/his shoe laces, with the note, “You’ve tied up my heart.”
9.  Give him/her a banana with the words, “I’m bananas for you!” written on the peel.
10. Put post-it notes on your pillow cases, “Sleeping Beauty” and “Prince Charming”.

Sure – life isn’t always easy. There’s work to be done. And yet. You can still be playful as you work…

playfulness in marriage - why not play while you're working

Ways to Be Playful Even if the Work Needs to be Done

  • Play energetic music. The most mundane work can be fun with the right music playing! Wear headphones if it’s not appropriate for the environment you’re working in – just start the music at the same time as your spouse, and you’ll be movin’ and boppin’ on the same beat!
  • Dress the part. Yes – I’m serious! Cleaning is much more fun if you put a bandana around your head, roll up your shirt sleeves and play the part. Dance with the broom as you sweep…  (You get the idea, right?)
  • Use a board game as a marker of getting things done. Think of Snakes and Ladders – every time you get part of the work done (you’ve already determined the way-points), then you get a chance to roll the dice and move your piece. If the game isn’t done before the work is done, then you get to finish the game as part of the fun!
  • Take photos – use funny expressions – kiss! and smile!  It’s been proven that smiling changes mood.
  • Listen to comedians. (Or tell your own jokes.) SiriusXM Satellite Radio has comedy channel options. Try the library to see which CDs they have of your favorite comedians. (Sometimes you can request that the library purchase some, if they don’t have what you’re looking for.)  Or invest in some of your own CDs – or digital downloads. There are lots available in whatever fashion you and your spouse find funny. (Rob and I like Bill Engval.)

Remember when you were first married…

Remember when you were dating - add some playfulness in marriage

When you were first dating – or those first few months of marriage might have looked different than today… I imagine you did things you may not be doing today…  

Why not consider:

  • phoning during the day – just to hear his/her voice
  • reaching out to hold their hand
  • a soft kiss in passing
  • seeing a wildflower/weed and picking it for her/him
  • cleaning up because that’s the way she/he likes it
  • offering him/her a drink when you get one for yourself
  • touching her/his shoulder, or forearm, while driving
  • looking into his/her eyes, because you want to see how he/she is feeling
  • greeting her/him with a hug when they return
  • buying some great smelling perfume/after shave because you want to get up close & personal
  • an admiring glance
  • turning the station to the music he/she likes
  • making or buying something sweet because it’ll bring a smile
  • kissing – lots of kissing, little kisses, deep kisses, smacking kisses, light kisses
  • a playful and unexpected tease to anticipate being alone together
  • saying thank you with your heart in your eyes
  • asking for what you’d like in the sweetest way
  • acquiescing  (“as you wish“)
  • playing together
  • defending his/her behavior
  • take a day trip together – just go right, then go left – roll a dice
  • exploring something new together in your city – there’s more than you’d think!
  • going out with friends… together, as a couple
  • talk – long, exploratory, dreamy, imagining talks
  • laughing, teasing, tickling, playful chasing
  • being thankful you met

Playfulness can be a fun Value to renew your marriage!

Playfulness adds fun to marriage

Try a few of these ideas… smile together… have fun working together… play together.

I’m putting these posts – “A to Z” Values – all under the FAMILY portion of this site. Why? Every one of these Values words will be a blessing to each spouse – but more than that… they’ll benefit your whole family!

Imagine if you add some playfulness to your relationship with your spouse – what kind of impact will that have on your family? On your children? I’m guessing that your children and family will only benefit as they watch the two of you standing together – playing and having fun, despite the inherent seriousness of life.

This is part of an Instagram challenge for July 2016 – A to Z and a few numbers… ( check out our Instagram account) and it’s become a series of Values posts!  The posts in this series can be found on the PAGE – 27 Values to Enrich your Marriage  (BTW – If you’re reading this post before the end of July 2016, then the page isn’t complete… I’m still writing! 😉 )

27 Values to Enrich your Marriage - 27 values for your marriage


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