30 Years of Marriage. To some this might sound daunting, and others might just chuckle, and call us “babies”. It’s all about perspective, I guess.
Robert and I sometimes wonder where the time has gone…
It seems just like yesterday that we were these people:
But we’re not.
Time has passed.
There have been a few bumps on the road, and ditch or two we’ve driven out of, a few hairs lost, and pounds found, a number of detours, yield signs, and 75-mile per hour highways. Life has been a ride.
And by God’s grace we’re still moving forward – together.
Along the way we’ve made some observations.
Robert and I wrote this list while driving to Wilmington, North Carolina for a two-day “away” trip. Even just writing these 30 observations became a hurdle – the first time we recorded all the sentences, they “disappeared” from my iPad. And we needed to start over. (The first statement on the second try at the list came from this experience!)
Here they are: 30 Observations from 30 years of marriage.
- It’s never too late to start over.
- Every day is a new day to love your spouse.
- Sex gets better.
- Your marriage can survive any size bed.
- Keep learning, then practice or share with your spouse.
- Shared joy multiplies exponentially.
- It’s OK to be goofy.
- Go away together often. (Without the kids.)
- Home – wherever you are together – is still the best refuge.
- Forgiveness works.
- Shared faith makes anything possible.
- Prayer preserves
- Deep prayer repairs.
- Laughter is a great reset button.
- You can never kiss enough. Or hug enough.
- When your spouse is your best friend it’s OK if other friends come and go.
- Do something daring together.
- Dream. Imagine. Talk about the future. Then plan it.
- Marriage grows when you serve together.
- Trust. It’s always worth it.
- Patience is the secret sauce of marriage.
- There’s no such thing as a bad meal… just a bad attitude.
- Enjoy your kids. Keep your spouse first.
- Phone when you’re going to be late – even if you don’t know when you’ll be home.
- Respect your spouse’s time. Ask what they are planning.
- Share what bothers you. (At an appropriate time.)
- Space is the final frontier. Sometimes your spouse needs some.
- Keep your marriage tidy on a regular basis. (It’s a lot easier than major clean ups.)
- Search for the positive. It’s the glue that binds you together.
- Remind your spouse often, “We still have a great future together.”
The next 3o years.
We were clueless when we began this marriage journey. However, God surrounded us with wonderful examples, and we are still learning from all of you.
For those who are still here with us, we give all thanks to God – for you. Don’t stop! And for those who have passed into eternity, we take your legacy and hope to share it as we move into the next 30 years…
Robert and I are on an adventure – we are traveling in our truck and an Open Range Fifth Wheel for a while. There have been adjustments… (you can read about some of them here.)
In the next 30 years we want to learn (more) from all the husbands and wives who are leading meaningful lives!
So, over the next 18 months, when we’re headed your way – on the North American continent – reach out! Let’s connect for a coffee/tea/hot chocolate and chat.
Contact me on Twitter as “Ready2Encourage” or on Facebook at “EncourageYourSpouse” or follow our trip in pictures at Instagram as “Robert_and_Lori” – We will also be documenting highlights at RobertandLori.com
Until we meet – what would you add to the list?
Leave a comment – what have your observations been on your marriage journey?
June 1, 2014 we’re headed out of North Carolina
toward Pennsylvania & Lerch RV
I already read this on Robert’s blog. Loved the list, and I can’t wait to write one with Olivia in 17 more years. How is the cross-country trip coming along? Side note: my 12-year old son is officially taller than I am by one inch. Yikes! Unlike me, his mother is not a 4’11” Thai woman.
It’s slightly uncomfortable when our kids grow to the point we need to look up at them, huh? Fortunately we can always make them sit down when they need “instruction”! LOL
Our cross country trip has taken a northern turn – where we expected to leave NC earlier in April and then stay south for a bit (including Texas), we didn’t leave until June. Now we’re headed north for the summer. According to Robert’s speaking schedule we should be in Texas next March. We’ll stay in touch!
What distilled and pithy wisdom! These 30 came at a price and is a prize! thank you for staying on the trail and helping us to.
30 years! What a great example and accomplishment! Have a great trip!
Thanks LuAnn – the beginning of the trip has been an education – and as we move forward, I’m guessing we’ll be exercising more items on this list than we expect!
What a great list! I read it and re-read it trying to decide which few I thought were most important and you know what? They are ALL important, I could not pick just one!
Fantastic list and perfect timing for us! Today is our 30th wedding anniversary.
Lovely! Happy Anniversary!
Terrific list! One of my fans is about laughter being a great reset. That has been so true for us.
Thanks for stopping in, Kim – we’ve discovered in this new season of marriage (traveling all the time) that laughter can be the ONLY option when everything else is unfamiliar… 🙂
Thanks so much for this list! I can’t wait to share it with my husband (of 3 years and counting…)
I have to tell you that I was particularly encouraged by #16 “When your spouse is your best friend it’s OK if other friends come and go.”
After having had our Irish Twin girls it was difficult to get together with my friends & they’ve all kind of become distant acquaintances. I’ve had a tough time dealing with that in the last couple of years as I’ve learned motherhood can sometimes be lonely. After reading that, however, I feel very encouraged; Mike (my husband) truly has been/is my closest friend. I am thankful God’s given me this relationship where I can genuinely say he’s my best bud.
So, thank you, once again, for this list! I look forward to keeping up with your blog!
If ever your in South Florida feel free to email me!