“No ego… it seems to come together.”
Husband & wife, two artists with one vision, working side-by-side on the same canvas; Kevin & Wendy.
Married in 1987, they’ve been painting – together – till today. Yes. Painting on the same canvas. Two brushes, many colors, one painting.
When Rob and I talk about how we live in 282 square feet (our RV) and work together all day, every day (or almost), many people respond with, “Oh, I could never do that!” For some reason, some people can’t imagine working with their spouse. What’s the barrier?
Is it an ego problem?
On February 3, 2016, I participated in a twitter chat about collaboration. The topic of ego showed up numerous times. This was a business twitter chat (BufferChat), however, like most things, it can be a indicator for relationships and marriage also.
A number of the tweets mentioned not letting ego be a part of the collaboration… these are two:
A7) TRUE Collaboration happens when you can put aside your ego for the purpose of the project. #BufferChat
— Crate (@CrateTeam) February 3, 2016
— Prateek Keshari (@prateekkesharii) February 3, 2016
What is EGO?
In the Lead Like Jesus Encounter, a program Robert facilitates, there is a section revolving around EGO. Good ego – and bad ego.
Edging God Out – (bad ego)
Exhalting God Only (good ego)
Whenever I hear or read the word “ego”, those two ways of looking at the topic are top-of-mind.
I wonder somtimes, if we, as husband and wife, could only focus on always giving God the honor and glory, we’d work much better together. Our collaborations would be sweeter and have greater impact.
Working with Your Spouse
Maybe you are reading this post and think you don’t work with your spouse. You don’t own a business, earn money together, or volunteer together in a non-profit or even at church…
You DO work together – as a couple – every day!
- you work together to make a strong marriage
- you work together to build a life
- you work together to make the finances cover all the bills
- you work together parenting your children
- you work together making a few rooms into a home
- you work together to be sure there is food to eat
- you work together to plan holidays and events
- you work together to nuture relationships with friends and family
- you work together creating a future that has meaning and purpose
- and collaborate, working on more and more!
I’m sure you can add to the list, can’t you?
What would happen if you could contain or restrain your own ego, and instead, in everything, exhalt God only?
How would that change your working together as husband and wife?
Remember – you’re a team!
Take a look at a post we wrote about EGO for Lead LIke Jesus: Learning to Collaborate with the Right Ego —- And a post about edging God out by the President and CEO of Lead Like Jesus, Phyllis Hendry: The #1 Sign You’re Edging God Out
As a resource, we recommend the new book, Lead Like Jesus Revisited. On page 63 there’s a chart which details the signs and consequences of Edging God Out (the bad ego). And on page 82 there’s a chart with the details of what it looks like if you Exhalt God Only (the good ego).
Reach out to us – Robert . Lori @ LeadershipCouples.com – we’d love to to come and do a Lead LIke Jesus Encounter with you and your friends/family/church group, with Robert as your facilitator. As you might realize, our sweet spot is working with husbands and wives… imagine what a weekend retreat would feel like if you were together with your couple friends – learning, growing, and enriching your marriages!
at about minute 6:15 you’ll hear the quote at the beginning of this post from Kevin & Wendy