Intentional growth in your marriage takes effort.

(Welcome to Robert’s readers from


Couples grow out of their relationships because they’re not working on them together. <– Tweet this!

(That’s a quote from a book I first read last year, and have re-read this year, planning for a series of posts here on Encourage Your Spouse.)

Couples grow out of their relationships

If you want to encourage your spouse – or – have your spouse encourage you, both spouses need to be moving toward something.

Are you moving toward something in your marriage? Or are you moving on auto-pilot? Encouragement rarely happens when you’re meandering along on auto-pilot in your marriage.

Are you on relationship “auto-pilot”?

If you’re on relationship “auto-pilot”, maybe it’s time to flip the switch?Intentional CheckBox

Maybe it’s time to flip the switch to “INTENTIONAL”.

Yes. I know.

There is a lot going on in your life. You’ve got a huge to-do list!

Time is at a premium.

There’s nothing urgent in your relationship – why should you use your precious time – now – to work on your marriage?


Take time for your relationship now –

because if it’s not growing…

it’s dying!

Be Intentional and Grow

Grow your marriage – but how?

In the next few weeks, Robert and I will be writing about the process of setting goals. Goals as a married couple…

HEY there!  Don’t tune me out! (and stop rolling your eyes)

Goal setting as a couple doesn’t have to be painful or boring. 

It’s just a process. And it can be painless, and entertaining…  really.

Step ONE – Reminisce and Reflect

The first step is to do a bit of reminiscing and reflecting.

To help you do this, Robert and I have created a short ebook – it includes some instructions and 29 questions for you and your spouse to have a date – an afternoon, morning or evening – to grow your relationship.

Click below to go to Gumroad (it’s a site where we’re hosting our resources) and get this ebook.

click this link: 29 Reminiscing and Reflecting Questions for Husbands & Wives  <– click

29 reminiscing and reflecting questions title page


What’s in the ebook?

Well – there are 29 questions.  Twenty of the questions are there for a bit of Reminiscing about your marriage in the last year. Nine are Reflecting questions. And there are two – I guess you’d call them essays – about each section. I wrote the section on reminiscing, and Robert wrote the section on reflection.

It’s a very short ebook. A book-let. Tiny. It has 12 pages, and most of them are the questions. Maybe it would be better labeled as workbook…

Why did we write this little booklet/workbook? Two reasons:

One reason was our websites were not working for a time because we moved them to a different hosting company (technical stuff). We couldn’t write posts for a while on this site, yet still wanted to write.

The other reason is because Robert and I are being more intentional in our writing this year. We want to create more resources, and offer tangible gifts to you.

So. Here’s a resource for you!

29 Reminiscing and Reflecting Questions for Husbands & Wives <–click

Here’s a book we recommend about off-site planning as a couple:

48 hour relationship retreat ad


How are you intentional about growing your marriage?

Do you set goals – make plans for what you want out of the year ahead… Do you reminisce about what’s working in your marriage?

We are still talking about planning with intention: