What are the good reasons for marriage?

No matter how long you’ve been married – whether your marriage has been smooth sailing or you’ve been smashed down by tsunami-sized waves, time and again… just consider:

For what purpose is God using you and your spouse – today?  

There is a purpose. There are good reasons for your marriage.

I’m sure of it!

Our Almighty,






Able and Sovereign,


has it ALL – our past, our future

– in His hand.


makes no mistakes.

He has a purpose. There are good reasons for your marriage.

He is a master at creating all things new, at authoring fresh beginnings, at engineering miracles, at wrapping up  battles – which appear to be hopeless – into glorious victories…

Even when we think we have it all planned out… HE is the director of every step.

Big Picture

A man’s heart plans his way,
But the Lord directs his steps.

Proverbs 16:9

When you got married, there were reasons for your marriage, weren’t there? We all make plans, some good, and some not so great. Fortunately, God makes no mistakes in directing our steps, regardless of our plans.

It’s considered a positive trait to pro-actively work a plan, isn’t it? But in the end, whether your plans seemed good at the time, but didn’t work out to be as great as you hoped, be comforted that God is directing your steps. He has it all mapped out, and will either work with your plans, or work around your plans, to direct the way you should go. He can make use of your marriage…

The key is to ask Him.

How to know the good reasons for marriage - Ask, Seek, Knock. PRAY!


Take a step back – yes, look at the bigger picture of your life with your spouse – and view where God has used you and your spouse for His purpose. Can you see a pattern?

Some couples feel God has put them together to serve a greater need, whether a spiritual goal such as ministry, or a natural goal, such as contributing through a business or non-profit. Some couples are sure the reason they are together is to be model of how a marriage can be reconciled through grace, even after infidelity. Some couples are fulfilled and energized by raising a family. Other couples combine their talents to enrich lives…

There’s a view which paints the picture that the reason for marriage is to learn how to be holy.

Because our God is so creatively amazing, and we all are different, we have different reasons for marriage. And different ways He uses our marriage for His glory.

Have you asked God what He would like to do with the two of you?

Even if you can’t see a pattern to your life, and how God has used you and your spouse – or – even if you can’t see a way forward to how God could use such an imperfect couple… have you asked Him?

Ask. Seek. Knock. 

Know the Good Reasons for Marriage

Ask God, in prayer, to know how He’d like to direct your steps as a couple.

Keep watching. Look for His direction. And then keep praying. Continue, praying without ceasing, to discern God’s direction for your life together as a couple, and the good reasons He has for your marriage.

You can be encouraged, and encourage your spouse, through this asking in  prayer.

But what if you haven’t ever prayed together? Then, start small and simple. Just hold hands, and thank God for each other. Ask for your steps to be guided by Him.

There is a reason He put the two of you together… There are good reasons for your marriage.

I believe God put us together for a reason - Reasons for Marriage - 101 phrases to Encourage Your Spouse

Recommended Reading

Sometimes we all need to see marriage in a new light – and hear how someone else’s views on marriage – to explore where we can grow. Here are three book recommendations:

The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God

This book gives a beautiful picture of what marriage was meant to look like  – and to give both married and unmarried people a vision for what marriage is according to the Bible.  Robert and I appreciate when husbands and wives share their experiences in marriage, and that’s included in this book – Timothy and Kathy Keller have been married more than 37 years.

What Did You Expect?: Redeeming the Realities of Marriage

Marriage is never what you expected – in the first year, the 10th or the 50th year, is it? Marriage is a constantly growing experience, and hopefully husband and wife are growing together! What we like best about this book by Pastor Paul Tripp, are the six commitments for marriage – they provide solid and practical direction. (Yeah, big picture and practical!) It appears that there’s a newer edition of this book coming available soon.. What Did You Expect? (Redesign): Redeeming the Realities of Marriage  (The original had a different cover, and was a gift from Tom and Debi at The Romantic Vineyard)

Grace Filled Marriage: The Missing Piece. the Place to Start.

We wrote a post about this book, but what I liked best was the future focus of the promise Grace will bring to everyone’s marriage; a secure love, a significant purpose, a strong hope, to be different and vulnerable, and to be candid and make mistakes. Because we’ve been called to be gentle with each other in marriage, Grace is the answer!

We’ve read and discussed these three books – they’re packed away in storage right now, as we’re traveling, but we very much value their perspectives and what we learned toward the reasons God has us together.  There are days our purpose is clearer than others, but encouraging is always a part of Robert and my reason to be together! We encourage each other, and seek to encourage others.

Do you know the reason God put you two together?

How has God used you – directed your steps? Leave a comment!

This post is part of the series 101 Phrases to Encourage Your Spouse – see the video!

(The books above are affiliate links – should you decide to purchase one, there’s no added cost to you, but you’ll be blessing Robert and me with a few pennies. )

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