As I was working in the Niles Public Library for a few days, I saw this display:
There were fiction books, and non-fiction. Christian focused, kid focused and memoirs. Most were self-published. One book had poems by a 12-year old, and another book was a history of unique messages one family sent every Christmas. (That one was interesting because they created poems for each message. I don’t think I could be that creative!)
And also on the shelf was “The Honeymoon Habit: Lessons for Renewing Romance and Reconnecting with Your Spouse
It’s a book about staying in love – about enriching your marriage.
In his book, Garascia talks about the quest to find
- friendship,
- a life-time lover,
- a partner,
- and companionship.
The chapter I found most interesting was his focus on friendship in marriage.
“Part of your attraction to each other was based on admiring certain values and principles in the other. These meaning generating values can become tarnished and rusty if they are neglected due to the hassles of work, parenting and other commitments.
It’s important to nourish your souls by giving yourself the time to check in and deepen your common values.”
Values
Which values do you and your spouse share?
Have you talked about values with your spouse? (Robert and I have decided on three shared values: Optimism, Loyalty and Discovery.) Garascia goes on to state,
Even though friendships are formed around common values, married couples often neglect to surface these values and talk about them… it’s a good idea to revisit the values that originally united the two of you.
Values are one way to encourage each other.
They are indicators of how unique you both are – and how you’ve grown and changed since you first married. (Here’s a post on how to encourage each others’ uniqueness-es.)
Taking Care of Yourself and Your Spouse
One of the last chapters in the book, The Honeymoon Habit: Lessons for Renewing Romance and Reconnecting with Your Spouse
“Marriage, when it’s working right, can be seen as a community of wellness, where each of you actively seeks to be well, and encourages the other to seek wellness.”
Encouraging Wellness – what does that mean?
Think about these areas:
- physical self
- spirituality
- emotional self
- connectedness
- sense of humor
- sense of help in the future
- relational self
- work self
How can you encourage your spouse to be well in these interconnected parts? The author, Tony Garascia, provides questions to consider for readers to answer. I imagine it would make for an interesting discussion with your spouse…
Who is the author?
Tony Garascia is a practicing therapist in South Bend, Indiana at the Samaritan Counseling Center. He received his Masters in Counseling from Indiana University at South Bend in 1986. In addition he received a Masters in Liturgical Studies in 1978 from the Catholic University of America.
Tony has years of experience counseling individuals, couples, families, adolescents and children. His areas of specialty include marriage and relationship issues, family difficulties, depression and anxiety, traumatic stress and bereavement work and sexual identity issues. He works with clients from age seven up. He is the author of the popular marriage preparation programs Before “I Do” and Catholic Remarriage (Ave Maria Press), of Rekindle the Passion While Raising Your Kids (Sorin Books), and of Getting Married, Living
Together (Ave Maria Press). He is licensed in the State of Indiana as a Clinical Social Worker and Clinical Addiction Counselor. He is a member of the American Counseling Association and the Indiana Counseling Association. He also is EMDR, Level II Certified.
He’s been married to Beth for more than 30 years, and they have 3 children.
(I love when authors dedicate their books to their spouse!)
Have you read any books by authors in your local area?
Leave a comment – let me know if you can recommend a local author’s book! (Check your library if you don’t know of any – I’m sure they’ll have suggestions!)
(This post contains affiliate links: the price of purchase is the same for you, but we get a few pennies! Thank you for your support! )
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Thanks for the post. Married 9 years with two kids I have learned if you are not intentional with your marriage it will not survive and or thrive. I find blogs like this one helpful and encouraging in my aim to be a better husband and father.