Friend. Within our world of social media, we’ve watered down the word “friend”… It might even have the flavor of what used to be known as merely an acquaintance. So let’s ask a few questions…
Are you a friend to your spouse?
Robert is my best friend. And, while writing this post, when I asked him if I was his best friend (I knew the answer but thought I’d better check) he turned in his office chair in our little house-on-wheels, and replied, “In a heart beat!“. So yes. We are each other’s best friends. For more than 30 years.
There are some marriage bloggers who disagree with the concept that husbands and wives can be – or should be – “best friends”. Their argument is that we can’t fill all needs, or be all things to our opposite gender spouse. I’d suggest it’s all in how you define friendship…
What does that word – friend – mean to you?
What qualities would you look for in a friend – what qualities would you be willing to live and give?
- loyalty
- kindness
- optimism
- ?
Have you asked your spouse what qualities he/she is looking for? Friendship enhances the bond of love between a husband and wife. It’s multifaceted and fluid. It’s valuable.
You might be surprised at what your spouse answers…
Don’t become discouraged if how your spouse defines being a friend doesn’t completely describe you. It’s an opportunity to move closer to their definition – or perhaps the discussion alone will bring about a new understanding of what friendship could mean between the two of you.
Remember – friendship is multifaceted and fluid…
At the very least, you can behave with friendliness!
Not every day in each month is the best. Not every year in a marriage is good. That’s normal. We all have ups and downs in life. We can’t always meet our spouse’s expectations of friendship – or maybe it’s a progression…
However, we can all have the self-discipline to interact with our spouse in a friendly way! From Robert’s definition of 400+ values, here’s the definition of “Friendliness”.
Friendliness: inclined to help or support; warm and approachable; inviting
You have a choice in your behavior. You choose.
Can you provide support? Can you be warm and approachable… inviting your spouse “inside” your day-to-day activities? I’m guessing you can. It’s possible.
Take action.
What can you do to move closer to your spouse’s definition of “friendship”? (You only have control over your own behavior – not your spouse’s actions.) It takes one person to begin. Can you be that person to take action?
Don’t put it off – don’t procrastinate!
Become your spouse’s friend!
Or even their “best” friend! 😉
I’m putting these posts – “A to Z” Values – all under the FAMILY portion of this site. Why? Every one of these Values words will be a blessing to each spouse – but more than that… they’ll benefit your whole family!
Imagine if you are your spouse’s friend – or even best friend… what kind of impact will that have on your family? On your children? I’m guessing that your children and family will only benefit as they watch the two of you practicing being friends!
This is an Instagram challenge for July 2016 – A to Z and a few numbers… check out our Instagram account!
The posts in this series can be found on the PAGE – 27 Values to Enrich your Marriage (BTW – If you’re reading this post before the end of July 2016, then the page isn’t complete… I’m still writing! 😉 )
Take a look at the book on Amazon!
In this book, the nine reasons we all procrastinate are spelled out in detail as they appear in marriage, and solutions, and strategies are suggested for each area.
Also included are links to free downloads of the lists: 101 things to say and text to your spouse, 101 things to do for/with your spouse, 35 conversation starters and more. Reading this book will give you the big picture surrounding procrastination in all its forms, and the practical strategies to move past procrastination!
The goal is translating what you learn about procrastination in your marriage, to the rest of your life - so as husband and wife you're leading a meaningful life!
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