Encouraging your spouse when everything is too much – how do you do that?
Too much? What’s too much? Do you ever feel like your life is filled with white-water rivers, mine fields, lava flows, rising flood water, hurricane winds, rotted floorboards, bottomless pits, shark-infested seas… Everything is beyond what you or your spouse can control.
Where do you go from that spot?
Unity matters when everything is too much.
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
~ Genesis 2:24 NIV
Remember – you’re not alone. Husband & Wife. Together. As husband and wife – “one flesh” – you can leave everything else behind to be united against an outside threat . Individual control no longer matters or makes sense.
There’s strength in unity. Are you tapping into that strength?
Encouraging your spouse when everything is too much starts with focusing on unity between you and he/she, and inviting your loving Heavenly Father – who wants what’s good for you both – to take control.
Invite God to take over. (Yes. We know how difficult letting go of control is…)
Remind your spouse that he or she doesn’t need all the answers.
Have faith in God when everything is too much.
Unbelief puts our circumstances between us and God – Faith puts God between us and our circumstances
During the greatest trials and most trying circumstances is when we’ll see the power of God working for and in us -provided we look at our circumstances with the perspective of faith.
3 Actions – Encouraging your spouse when everything is too much:
1 – Listen to each other. Be attentive when your spouse speaks.
Two ears. One mouth. Listen twice as much as you talk. And if your spouse isn’t one to chat easily, perhaps it’s time to cultivate some meaningful questions? Try this Pinterest board for ideas on questions to ask.
… be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…
2 – Be thankful. Together.
Start a new tradition – take note of what you both are thankful for each day. Before you go to bed, share one aspect of your day for which you can give thanks. Bonny at Oysterbed7 has a lovely article that details this idea.
For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving,
~ 1Timothy 4:4
We know – it’s hard to be thankful when everything feels like it’s too much. But try. Begin small. Start with the easy stuff:
- you have each other, even if neither of you are perfect
- Jesus knew the pain He’d endure, and He still decided you and your spouse were worth it.
- God loves you, even when it’s all too much. He’ll never leave you. He’s always with you.
3 – Pray together. Invite God into your “too much”.
“Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”
What if you don’t know where to start to pray?
Prayer can be a simple “thank you”. The prayer that Jesus taught His disciples (and us) is found here. If you want to go deeper, listen as other people pray and develop your own prayer life. Sometimes resources can help…
Rob and I have been reading and putting into practice what’s in the book The Hour the Changes the World. It’s a prayer plan that divides an hour into twelve 5-minute sections. Each section focuses on a different point of prayer. If an hour seems like too much, you can use the idea for 12 minutes – focusing on each of the 12 sections for one minute at a time.
Here are 31 videos if you want to go deeper into exploring prayer with your spouse. They’re less than 5 minutes each. They’re hosted by Dick Eastman, President of Every Home for Christ. and author of the above book. Watch them together with your spouse and do one a day for a month… It’s something to unite the two of you and most days it’ll take less than 5 minutes…
Everything for a time.
Nothing is so constant as change. This “too much” time will shift and change. Encouraging your spouse when everything is too much will only be for a time… Learn to work together through it all and leverage the blessing the Lord has given you both: each other!
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.