Did you know that the first “not good” in the Bible was about Adam being alone?
Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed. (Genesis 2:8)
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. (Genesis 2:18)
What is a “suitable helper”?
One who adds strength – and reinforces.
The Hebrew word used for “helper” is ‘ezer – which can be also used “… to describe military help, such as reinforcements without which a battle would be lost.”
~ quote from The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller
Fighting a Battle
How many battles have been fought in the course of history where the weakening side reached out for reinforcements? Many, I imagine.
Perhaps the groups were caught unaware and unprepared. Perhaps they were standing alone, far from their supporters. Perhaps they believed their own force was enough to defeat the enemy – but were wrong. Regardless, I imagine many groups sought reinforcements.
And many were denied.
Years ago we visited The Alamo in Texas. It’s the site of a battle, a siege, and a defeat. Here’s a bit of the story:
…The fort was manned by a resolute group of 183 volunteers…
When it became certain that battle was inevitable, the Texans sent a young man out to try to bring back reinforcements…
He slipped out of the old mission at night and made his way ninety-five miles to Goliad for help. But when he arrived, he was told that no troops were available…
At the end of the battle not a single man of the 183 defenders lived…
~ excerpt from John Maxwell’s book The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader in the category of Responsibility.
Did you notice that at the beginning there were 183 – and 183 died? What happened to the young man?
James Bonham, the young man, received word there would be no reinforcements, and instead of just remaining in safety, rode back to the fort, back through enemies lines, to re-enter the fort and continue the fight beside his comrades. Yes, he also died. Because there were no reinforcements.
Does your spouse stand alone?
Or are you there to provide strength – to reinforce?
We need to watch that we’re not too busy – that our children don’t take up all our strength. (I’m speaking to the ladies here.)
We are to be a “suitable helper” to our husbands… where are you expending your strength?
Do you listen when your spouse asks to be reinforced? Perhaps it’s not a verbal question…
Are you caught up in your own ideas and opinions, so much so that you deny your spouse your support – your strengthening reinforcement?
Reinforce your spouse’s strength.
Make sure you are close enough to reinforce…
Be sure you’re aware of where and when your spouse needs to be reinforced…
And even before the battle becomes too much for your spouse, reach out for the One who has all power – ask for God’s help to reinforce both of you!
Do you have a story about reinforcing your spouse?
This was just AWESOME! Thank you Lori! I’ve studied the ‘ezer kenegdo’ … but what struck me for the first time was when you said, “suitable helper.” Of course ‘human’ helper is the implication here. But also, suitable could mean, what is suitable for your husband might different than what is suitable for my husband; that our support for our husbands’ has been specifically crafted, by God, into each of us wives!!
Thanks for sharing your insight, Robyn. So cool – it gives me the shivers when I identify what a surpassing GREAT engineer our God is! He’s got it – us – all covered. All the time!
Lori,
You are really on target. Men need to feel their wives look at them as “knights” ready to slay the dragon or kill the pesky spider! Chivalry must not die. He need you to “reinforce” his choices, not tear him down.
It is good for your husband to know that you stand by your man.
Lori you rock!
The Best Is Yet To Be!!! – Jerry