Are you encouraging? Or are you nagging?
Both activities are focused toward your spouse. Obviously, one is positive and one is negative – but what’s the real difference between the two?
Encouragement focuses on the needs and feelings of your spouse. It’s about their strengths and their gifts. It’s about your spouse’s concerns. Encouragement happens when it’s the best time for your spouse to receive it. It happens after you’ve listened and asked questions. Encouragement – it’s all about your spouse.
Nagging focuses on the things you think your spouse needs. Nagging identifies what you think your spouse should be feeling. It’s about what you think is missing, what ‘should be’ and what you’re worried about. Nagging happens when you want it to happen. It’s your thoughts and ideas without any input from your spouse. Nagging – it’s all about you.
Hate to break-it-to-ya … encouragement is not about you!
Just sayin’. 🙂
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You did a great job of pointing out the difference. Thanks. I had a teacher way back when I was a young bride who always said – Don’t be a nag. Be a thoroughbred.
lol – love it, Bonnie! Yup. I’d rather be a thoroughbred, too!
That was beautifully written! Admittedly, I sometimes cross over from encouraging (i start out right) then slip into the ole nagging gene (turn it into about me) … good thing for grace …. i rely heavily.
Thanks for dropping by, Robyn! I think we ALL wobble now and again into the nagging mode. You’re right – grace is our safety net!