Sometimes there are weighty issues to discuss. Conversations on topics that cause conflict are difficult – even for the most developed marriage. Make it easier on yourself by preparing to talk.
Here are some fundamentals before starting a conversation on serious topics:
- Decide on a time to talk. Make sure it’s a good time for both of you.
- Pray for this scheduled time. Invite God to be a part of your time together.
- Find a quiet space – a place with no distractions – away from TVs, your kids/family. Absolutely NOT your bedroom.
- Sit down – facing each other.
- Look into your spouse’s eyes. (suggested – hold hands/touch each other)
Why do all this, even before you open your mouth?
The five things listed above aren’t rocket science, but they are often overlooked when something serious needs to be discussed.
What you’re doing by preparing to talk is closing a gap.
The gap exists between what is – and what could be. Sometimes that gap is more like a gulf or a Grand Canyon. The greater the gap between what you’re living and what you want to live, the more you’ll need to prepare. But, like everything else in life, the more you prepare, the greater the chance of success.
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“The more you prepare the greater the chance of success” is such wisdom. Thanks for the nuggets this morning.
Preparation is a goal of mine – I’m more likely to procrastinate! (or avoid).
However, the best experiences Robert and I have had when talking about the ‘hard’ stuff, has come when we’ve been deliberate and prepared… hence this post! 😉
These are GREAT tips. You could apply this to talking with your teen too!
Thanks so much, Alessa and Tammie – yes! – you’re right, I think these ideas would be valuable with parents/teens also. (never thought about it from that perspective)
It’d be a great way to model conflict resolution and to show how commited you, as the parent, are about creating peace.
Thanks for pointing that out. (Good to spend the day with the two of you yesterday!)