Sep 5, 2012
If you were to use one word to describe each block of time in your day, which words would you use?
Wake – pray – read – exercise – shower – eat – drive – work – walk – eat – work – drive – eat – visit – TV – read – pray – sleep.
Now – how would you describe your conversations in an average day?
What about your conversations with your spouse?
What do you talk about with your spouse?
Conversations between husband and wife can become “pass the salt” kind of interactions. It happens.
The laundry needs to be put away. The car needs an oil change. The kid’s permission slip needs to be signed. Pay the bills. Turn off the lights. Empty the dishwasher. Weed the garden. Head and shoulders, knees and toes… Days go on. And on.
But these types of lack-luster interactions don’t grow a life filled with purpose or meaning. Is it time to change the conversational direction – to put more into your interactions?
Plant a seed.
If you’re living in a hum-drum no-depth conversational rut (and want out) then start small.
Big, deep conversations grow from tiny seeds.
Many seeds are found in the Book of Proverbs.
Start a conversation with your spouse about a verse from Proverbs that catches your attention. It’s a pretty dense book with so many nuggets. Sip from it, like you would from a hot cup of coffee.
Here’s an example of a tiny ‘seed’ of a conversation starter:
Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.
~ Proverbs 4:23
If you were to talk about this proverb, where would it lead?
Encouragers start conversations that make an impact.
How do you start deep conversations with your spouse?
Aug 7, 2012
Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?
~ Amos 3:3
Where are you and your spouse going?
It’s not really a hard question – “Where are you going?”
You’re going forward, right?
But are you going forward, moving in the same direction, with your spouse? That’s a little more difficult to answer.
Marriage = 2 people journeying through joys & sorrows, advancing in agreement.
Advance: To move toward or go forward. To increase. To improve or make progress, grow or rise.
Can you advance together if you’re not in agreement?
Nope. At least, not with any degree of peace…
Mission statements, and a vision for the future are powerful tools if a couple takes the time to search for and create them.
But if you’re going to simplify or just begin in a direction – may I suggest one powerful way to advance – together – in peace?
Decide to walk together in faith.
The opposite of faith is fear. And fear is a lousy driver – it’s all over the road.
Faith has a focused direction & a great destination.
When you’re focused on faith you advance with confidence.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” ~ Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV Also see: Psalm 27:3 – Isaiah 41:10
When you’re focused on faith you advance with joy.
“Fear not, O land; be glad and rejoice: for the Lord will do great things.” Joel 2:21 KJV
When you’re focused on faith you advance – knowing all is provided.
“Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.” ~ Luke 12:32
“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” 2Timothy 1:7
Encourage your spouse by expressing faith – in God.
Fortify with Faith. It only takes one to start – faith is catchy. It’s contagious. You have the opportunity to turn from fear toward faith – and strengthen your spouse along the way. (Fear leads nowhere.)
Begin with faith, join together in agreement – then advance forward.
Aug 6, 2012
We’re bombarded by messages in the media that are designed to create fear, uncertainty & doubt. (I know, because my marketing-minded husband constantly points out ads with this message!)
The next time you watch a television program and encounter the ads between the show, just ask yourself what the marketing firm wants you to be afraid of – and how they position their product as a way to alleviate your fear, uncertainty or doubt.
However.
As Christians, we are NOT to fear.
I follow a lady on Facebook who created an uplifting “printable” listing all the places “Fear Not” is listed in the Bible. (KJV) Contrary to popular viewpoint, this statement isn’t listed 365 times… To find out how many times it’s actually listed, check out her post at Musings of a Minister’s Wife.
Here’s the printable with a link to her Etsy space – she uses the sale of her creations for a non-profit Christian prison ministry, Theologos Ministries. I did purchase one ’cause I appreciate the work and ministry.
OK. Back on Topic… What’s the opposite of fear?
Faith
So – you have 2 choices: fear or faith.
The opposite of fear is faith.
Fear moves you to act on emotion. Faith encourages trust in God’s timing.
Fear exaggerates issues. Faith simplifies with God’s truth.
Fear distracts with options. Faith puts a focus on God’s will.
Fear breeds insecurity. Faith builds courage.
Fear spotlights lack. Faith sees God’s blessings. Everywhere.
Fear hoards resources. Faith compels generosity.
Fear disengages. Faith engages and unites.
Fortify with faith. Spend some time and read through all the scriptures that list the “fear not” statement. There are a lot of reasons to have faith. Go ahead. Put courage into your spouse.
Encourage your spouse.
Jul 26, 2012
Faith goes up the stairs that love has made
and looks out of the windows which hope has opened.
~ Charles Spurgeon
What do you know about Charles & Susannah Spurgeon?
(This post first appeared on Robert’s site – FergusonValues – in May 2012)
One of the greatest couples of their time
Rarely does one set out to become great. In most cases, those who seek greatness fall short of leaving a lasting legacy.
But for a few, greatness is awarded for a lifetime of dedication that made a significant difference in the lives of others.
As a differentiating value, Greatness means remarkable; of major significance or importance; larger than others of it’s kind.
There are selected men and women who are heralded for their remarkable achievements. But few married couples would be added to this list.
Charles and Susannah Spurgeon are one of those rare couples. They were truly one of the greatest couples of their time.
Charles Spurgeon
At age 22, Charles Spurgeon was the most popular preacher of the day.
Spurgeon was the Billy Graham of his time. Known in Britain as the ‘Prince of Preachers’ it is estimated that Spurgeon preached the Gospel of Christ to 10 Million people during his lifetime.
continue reading click here …
Jun 26, 2012
How can a “dis” word be an encouraging word?
We would never use the word “dis-courage”. And yet, this word – dissuade – is a synonym of discourage!
When would you not encourage your spouse?
Imagine…
Two companions, while walking arm-in-arm down a road chatting and laughing, come to a fork in the road.
Their path to this point has had some challenges – fallen logs, swamps, uphill climbs, and uneven spots. They’ve helped each other through the uncomfortable spots. They’ve given thanks for the easy, wide areas.
Now they’re at a fork.
A choice must be made. Which is the best direction?
Influence
As husband and wife, we share a bond of trust. We’ve made it through some rocky times. We’ve shared some pinnacles. There’s history.
Because we share life together and help each other over the hurdles and celebrate the wins, we are in a position to influence our spouse’s decisions one way – or another.
Most times encouragement is what is needed.
With a little push to move forward, an extra hand to help, or the belief and validation that our spouse is on the right course, we affirm a choice of direction. We put courage into our spouse.
However.
There are times when we have the responsibility to dissuade our spouse from going in a particular direction.
Dissuade = to deter by persuasion or advise against.
Do Not
Deterrence starts with paying attention to the ‘do nots’. There are a lot of “do nots” in God’s word:
- do not lie
- do not kill
- do not want what others have
- do not worship other gods
- do not withhold good
- do not love sleep (really! Proverbs 20:13)
Read Proverbs – you’ll get a bucket-load full of ‘do nots’!
(Note: As I searched through BibleGateway.com for the term “do not”, I found lots of good “do nots” also. Many of them began with “Do not be afraid…“.)
How do you decide when to dissuade your spouse from a direction?
- It goes against God’s Word. This is pretty easy to discern if you’re living your faith and you have a working knowledge of scripture. Of course, seeking input from other believing Christians will hone your understanding of scripture and what God desires from His children. You’re still fortifying your spouse with faith – but in this case you’re dissuading her or him from a direction that you’ve learned God may not bless.
- You’ve prayed about it. This one is a bit trickier. It starts with your heart and focus being right. Praying for God’s will to reign is key. Not what you believe or wish for – but for God to show direction according to His will. No more than God’s will. No less than God’s will. God’s will no matter the cost. You’re still uplifting your spouse with prayer, but the focus is on God’s will for the decision. (Oh, it’s so easy to be self-centered. This one has tripped me up – major big time.)
When else would you know to dissuade your spouse from a direction?
When is it right to advise against a direction?
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