Mar 26, 2015
It’s a challenge: try something new – it’ll make you a “keeper”!
Everyday Robert and I are seeing couples enjoying life. They’re no longer raising their children, and most are not working full time anymore, (or they could be on holidays) but they are exploring new experiences.
Together.
When I chat with these couples about their relationships, after a little while they’ll chuckle, and nod, then say,
“Yup. He’s a keeper!”
Or “She’s a keeper!”
They’re referring to the fact that they want to keep on enjoying life… together.
Most of these couples are trying new things. They’re playing euchre with other couples for the first time. Or they’ve bought a tandem motorcycle (two or three-wheeler) and are doing a drive with other motor-cycle couples or they’re volunteering in soup-kitchens. Some have gathered a “band” together to play the songs from their teenage years, and so many other activities.
The key?
They’re doing these new activities together.
And before you wonder, not all things are perfect in these couples’ lives. Sometimes they’re battling health challenges. Sometimes they’re grieving over their adult children, sometimes they’re really scrimping to make ends-meet. Not all things are going well… Yet. They’re still moving forward to try new things – to explore and challenge themselves.
Here’s your challenge: find something new to do with your spouse this weekend!
Then, when you get to the point of life that these couples are experiencing, you too will refer to your spouse as he/she’s “a keeper”!
It’s within your ability. Really.
It doesn’t take any money to
- play a new game with another couple
- volunteer your time to a good cause
- bake cookies together and deliver them to another couple
- check out your city guide to see what free events are happening
- take someone else’s dog for a walk
- play frisbee
- take a road-trip just for the day
- watch a YouTube video to learn how to juggle, or try some magic tricks
- take your camera or smart phones and do a digital photo “hunt” (articles from A-Z)
- learn some origami to impress your next dinner guests
- visit a musical instrument store and try out some unfamiliar instruments
- go to church on Sunday – or a worship service on Saturday/Sunday night
- go geo-caching
What new thing are you going to do with your spouse this weekend?
Got anything to add to the list? Leave a comment!
Mar 26, 2014
Some seasons in life are difficult.
No question.
No rebuttal.
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
Ecclesiates 3:1-8
When the “time” you and your spouse are in,
includes …
death
being uprooted
being torn down
weeping
mourning
scattered stones
nothing to embrace
giving up
searching
throwing away
tearing
hating
and even war…
How can you encourage each other?
Even when dealing with all the opposites to planting and healing and building and dancing and laughing… It’s still possible to encourage each other.
It is. Really.
How?
Focus on the moments.
Force yourself to acknowledge the beauty and blessings in that specific moment.
Then find a way to take note –
and pass the bounty of God’s gift of that moment on to your spouse.
As great as pointing out the positive to your spouse can be… sometimes he or she doesn’t hear the words. (wha-wha-wha)
It can take a new tactic,
technique
or a challenge to engage each other.
Tag – You’re IT!
Make it a challenge to notice the blessings in the moment! Engage each other.
Use something tangible to “tag” your spouse…
Idea One / if you’re not together during the day:
- with a smart-phone camera
- take turns sending each other photos of the bits of beauty found in the moment
- Or text each other uplifting quotes.
- Use a point system – see who “wins”.
(but of course, you’re both winners, because you’re encouraging each other.)
Idea Two /when you’re spending the day together:
- Start with 10 dimes – each. (20 in total)
- Mark all 20 in some way. (with nail polish or permanent marker)
- When you notice something – a blessing, a beauty, a bounty – tell your spouse about it and hand her/him a dime
- Have your spouse do the same with you – but no two “noticings” can be the same.
- The one with the least number of dimes at the end of the day… wins!
(and yet again – you’re both winners, because you’ve spent the day looking for the good in the moment – and shared!)
Sometimes you just need to be creative…
How have you shared the good moments of your days with your spouse?
Thankful to Link with
Wifey Wednesdays | Hope in Every Season
Mar 14, 2014
It’s easy to be complacent. But, complacency leads to inertia.
It’s easy to be self-focused. But, focusing only on yourself leads to selfishness.
It’s easy to be agenda driven. But, letting the agenda control your life leads to stagnation.
Being complacent, self-focused and agenda driven is not very encouraging…
for you, your spouse or your family!
What can you do? – Serve Together
Serve others – your church family, your community, even just one other person – and let your children see you (or join in).
By serving, you’ll encourage
- concern for others,
- kindness
- energy & creativity
Wouldn’t it be great to feel those emotions as a husband and wife team, and foster them in your family?
Who can you serve today?
Where do you and your spouse serve already?
Have you invited your children to serve alongside you? (don’t make it a one-time thing)
What a legacy you could leave as a family…
Want some ideas?
Check out this post! OR this one!
Sep 10, 2013
Sometimes we have goals in life. Big and small. Other times we have dreams which may not be realized, however just pondering the possibility provides a thrill. At times we make a point to go after our goals – to cross them off the list. How about you and your spouse? Does your Bucket List thrill you?
What’s on your Bucket List?
- climb a mountain
- play in a band
- travel to Europe
- learn to change your car’s flat tire
- serve on a mission trip
- open a Bed & Breakfast
- dance on a stage
- build a house
- bike from the mountains to the sea
- swim the English Channel
- go into space
Robert and my 4th date on our 12 dates in 12 days was from my Bucket List.
When Robert and I were discussing our Bucket Lists we realized we share a number of items, but his list has many more huge items that will mean major accomplishment. I’m more likely to put things on my list which can happen with just a bit of effort. It was an interesting comparison.
Experience a Piano Bar
One of my completely irrelevant and just for fun Bucket List items was to go to a bar before I hit the half century mark. Not that drinking is a priority – I just wanted to break out of my sheltered existence a bit. 😉
To cross this off my list, our 3 grown kids – daughter, daughter-in-love & son – arranged an evening to celebrate my 49th birthday. My daughter bought me a shot, and then everyone laughed as she had to demonstrate how to drink it. Our evening at a Dueling Piano Bar with friends was so much fun!
It was a very l-o-u-d evening… And a treat to watch all the people laugh, dance and sing along with the talented musicians. (One of my favorite things to do is ‘people watch’ – there was a lot to see!) Of course, they sang the song “Piano Man” by Billy Joel. Their repertoire covered everything from Big & Rich, to Pink Floyd, The Cars and Led Zeppelin. Rob commented that they were playing songs he remembered from his teenage years!
As a Bucket List experience, the Dueling Piano Bar was a success.
Have you talked with your spouse about a your Bucket Lists?
What’s one thing on your Bucket List that you can cross off before your next birthday?
On the 4th day between our birthdays…
to continue our 12 day adventure to become connoisseurs
my true love gave to me…
Soup!
Yes. Kinda an odd thing to choose to become connoisseurs over. This 4th date started our search for a good French Onion Soup.
This cafe had a very sad example of French Onion Soup. Mushy, gelatinous bread, a few spoonfuls of some kind of dark broth and a glop of onion pieces covered by a thin piece of provolone was the extent of my soup. Sad. So sad. 🙁 On a better note, Rob said his broccoli and cheese soup was good.
(If you’re ever in Raleigh, NC just email me, and I”ll let you know where not to go for your soup.)
I ate what I could, and Robert finished his soup. I didn’t mention my disappointment at the quality of the soup to the person at the counter – I wonder if that’s our Canadian heritage? One observation after living in the United States for 13 years, is that US citizens are much more likely to state their disappointment.
Do you inform your server if what you order isn’t what you expected?
Who is more likely to speak up – you or your spouse – if the food at a restaurant is not good? Do you think expressing displeasure is a cultural thing, or merely a personal choice?
This experience of serial dating – day after day – is a fun endeavor. We have our planned list posted on the ‘fridge, and every day we need to find a new place for our soup. Our 5th date had us shopping… something we very rarely do together. More tomorrow…
We decided to try this series of posts because of
a dare at The Happy Wives Club. So often we marriage bloggers give out great ideas, and Robert and I thought we should walk the talk… to make the ideas real. We’re learning a lot about each other through these forays. (I’ll write our observations at the end of the 12 dates.)
Our first Date
2nd Date
3rd Date
Sep 4, 2013
“Walking the talk” and continuing our Fun Dare – 12 Dates in 12 Days – we decided to salute Durham, North Carolina, our neighboring city.
We combined our third date, a visit to a library, with a new restaurant.
Durham County Library
The original date idea suggested going to the library and looking for books which reminded you both of your school years.
We adjusted for our personality, and because both Robert and I are oriented to learning about history, we searched for books available for the personas about whom we’ve written – one was Abigail Adams.
The nice part of reading history books is that it usually doesn’t matter when the books were published. We found books with a published dated in the 1940’s and ones from the ’80’s and ’90’s.
Note: It usually doesn’t matter when books are published… unless you’re a school kid using your parents’ historical set of encyclopedias published before 1900 and the subject you’re researching is the moon. Yes – I did that as a kid. 🙂 My teacher didn’t buy my excuse that I couldn’t find anything on the moon landing in our encyclopedias…
Once we’d toured the shelves looking at biographies, we went to the third floor of the Main Durham Library to find the Dr. Benjamin E. Powell Memorial Room which houses the North Carolina Collection.
“This collection houses 16,000 books related to North Carolina and Durham history and culture, plus thousands more items pertinent to Durham city and county history…” to learn more click here
We met the two history librarians, and they generously shared insights on how the Durham libraries are meeting the needs of community through The North Carolina Collection, Durham’s ComicCon, a rich humanities program, the availability of computers, all the traditional amenities of all libraries and so much more.
I haven’t met a library I didn’t enjoy – and the Durham Main Library is yet another example of how the rich culture of the United States is being enhanced and preserved.
When was the last time you visited a library? What’s your favorite area/section?
Does your city’s main library have a collection of your state’s history?
On to Toast!
To finish off our visit to Durham, we had our soup at an authentic Italian Paninoteca…
On the third day between our birthdays,
my true love gave to me…
Soup
(at “Toast” at Five Points… WOW!)
We shared a bowl of chilled heritage tomato soup – it was silky smooth with a delicate yet robust flavor of tomato, a hint of basil and topped with a swirl of olive oil and crispy, garlicky croutons! You can read more about our experience at Toast on our business website, Leadership Couples. The couple who owns it is a husband and wife team! Cool, huh?
What’s your favorite chilled soup?
Read about:
Our first date… and soup
Our second date… and soup
(Our next date was a visit to a place that I’d never been in all my 49 years… and another bowl of soup! More coming tomorrow.)
We decided to try this series of posts because of a dare at The Happy Wives Club. So often we marriage bloggers give out great ideas, and Robert and I thought we should walk the talk… to make the ideas real. We’re learning a lot about each other through these forays. (I’ll write our observations at the end of the 12 dates.)
Have you ever tried a “dare” that caused you to grow in your marriage? What was it?
Thankful to link with:
Wifey Wednesdays
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