Unselfish Couples Lead Well

Jul 21, 2016

Unselfish couples are generous. They’re aware of needs, and work toward making their world better. Nothing demonstrates unselfishness like two people, working together for the good of those around them. They are unselfish couples, leading by example.

Robert and I are inspired by these unselfish couples: husbands and wives living meaningful lives.

So what’s the definition of the Value of Unselfishness?

Unselfishness   – acting generously; regarding the welfare of others before oneself

Here’s a post originally written for our Leadership Couples site… it gives you an idea of how this Value shows up in a marriage relationship, highlighting 3 unselfishcouples.

3 Unselfish Couples

Leadership couples are generous with their talents, resources, and time.

They embrace the Value of Unselfishness – acting generously, and regarding the welfare of others before oneself.

There are couples we can honor from the past. There are couples active today we can applaud. And if we continue to encourage the value of unselfishness, there will be leadership couples into the future.

Unselfish with Talents

Thanks to the many talents of Charles & Susannah Spurgeon, they have left a legacy that lasts to this day.

Known as the ‘Prince of Preachers’, Charles was the Billy Graham of his time. During the second half of the 19^th century, it is estimated that Spurgeon preached the Gospel of Christ to 10 million people.

In spite of nagging health issues, Susannah demonstrated the admirable qualities of a supportive spouse. She also used her talents to get books into the hands of hundreds of poor ministers across Great Britain, who otherwise had no resources to increase their knowledge or improve their ministries. Her now famous Book Fund continues to this day.

Charles & Susannah Spurgeon were an unselfish couple.

Unselfish with Resources

Barbara & Pitt Hyde are serious philanthropists. Through the Hyde Family Foundations, they focus their significant resources on cultural, educational, and economic growth in their hometown of Memphis, Tennessee.

A native of Memphis, J.R. (Pitt) Hyde III is the founder of AutoZone, a leading automotive parts retailer. He is also the grandson of the founder of Malone and Hyde, the third largest wholesale food distributor. Pitt’s grandparents started the Family Foundation in 1961 and Pitt’s business ventures have afforded the opportunity to significantly expand its reach.

Through their Foundation, the Hyde’s provide support to many different schools in Memphis, including public charters, private independents, and inner-city parochial schools. This year they also made a sizable donation to the construction and development of a bike and pedestrian crossing at the Harahan Bridge, crossing the Mississippi River.

The Hyde’s have also made considerable investments in the National Civil Rights Museum, the Ballet Memphis, and even helped bring an NBA team to Memphis (the Grizzlies).

In the growing category of husband-and-wife teams in philanthropy, Barbara comments:

“It is one of many things that Pitt and I have in common and we love to talk about. Neither of us plays golf, for instance. We’d rather do this work together.”

Barbara & Pitt Hyde are an unselfish leadership couple.

Unselfish with Time

Kait & John Seyal love their dogs, adopted from an animal shelter. They unselfishly wanted to raise awareness about animal rescue and pet therapy.

So they decided to give up 9 months of their lives and walk coast to coast across America.

On March 1, 2012 Kait, John, and their 2 dogs – Max and Grace – began their 3,000+ cross-country journey from Lewes, Delaware. Along the way, they stopped to volunteer at hospitals, nursing homes, children’s homes, veteran’s facilities, and anywhere else the unconditional love of a dog was appreciated.

Reading the comments on their website Dog Walk Across America, not everyone was supportive. But this husband and wife team persevered.

They walked alone for the first 1,100 miles. Then a friend and his dog joined them, providing a support vehicle to give the dogs a place to rest during the hottest hours of the day.

On November 17, 2012 the team reached the Pacific Ocean, at Long Beach, California. They achieved their goal and proved that they can make a difference.

Kait & John are an unselfish leadership couple.

Who do you know that lives the Value of Unselfishness – could you include them in this list of unselfish couples? Leave a comment!

How can you use the value of unselfishness to make a difference?

This is part of an Instagram challenge for July 2016 – A to Z and a few numbers… ( check out our Instagram account) and it’s become a series of Values posts!  The posts in this series can be found on the PAGE – 27 Values to Enrich your Marriage  (BTW – If you’re reading this post before the end of July 2016, then the page isn’t complete… I’m still writing! 😉 )

Teamwork – From Dream to Celebration

Jul 20, 2016

Teamwork makes the dream work! And this statement is especially true in marriage.

As I write this post, Rob and I are driving toward Atlanta, Georgia – and we followed the steps you’ll read later in this post to get there as a team – from dream to celebration. (Well… we haven’t celebrated yet – that comes in a few days.)

What’s the meaning of the Value of Teamwork? Taken from Robert’s research defining 400+ Values, it’s:

Teamwork – cooperative effort of two or more people for a common purpose or goal.

Ah, yes. Goals. What are your marriage goals? Do you work with a co-operative effort toward those goals? (Even if they’re spontaneous?)

5 Steps to Make the Teamwork… Work!

1. Decide. You can’t work as a team without agreeing on a course or direction. Use your shared Values as a signpost and rumble strips as you’re deciding.
   Step 1 – Make the teamwork… work: DECIDE – you need to agree.

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2. Develop. Make your plan. Even if it’s on-the-fly, or last minute, be strategic and know the steps you need to take.  The more often you work as a team, the easier it’ll become. 
   Step 2 – Make the teamwork… work: DEVELOP a plan.

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3. Divide. Divide and conquer.  Know your roles, know your strengths and take action toward the goal. Yes, working together is sometimes best, but teamwork is as much about working on the goal separately, using your strengths toward the common purpose. 
   Step 3 – Make the teamwork… work: DIVIDE and conquer.

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4. Dig. Dig in and dig deep – be persistent.  Don’t let the first (or fifteenth) obstacle derail your efforts. There will be roadblocks. The way might be slowed by dips or humps. You might need to take a detour. Don’t give up – DIG in. Be stubborn about your goal. 
   Step 4 – Make the teamwork… work: DIG in and be persistent.

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5. Done. Celebrate when you reach your goal! Every completed goal needs a bit of “hooray” – and what’s better than a bit of celebration with your spouse? 😉 
   Step 5 – Make the teamwork… work: DONE! Celebrate!

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Here’s our video highlighting this concept of a “Dream Team”

Teamwork in Action

I was checking my email this morning, lying in our bed inside our little house on wheels. Robert was in the chair in the other part of our 282 square feet – he was finishing up his quiet time (reading the Bible and praying.) In one of my emails was a note about an event…

The email was reminding me about a blogging conference. In Atlanta. (We were currently in Raleigh, North Carolina so that’s 420 miles away.) The problem? The conference started the next day.

Now, I’ve always wanted to go to a blogging conference – writing and blogging is what I do! And this conference was one that I’d signed up to receive information from – I did want to go. However… at such a late date, there were some barriers – most people don’t try this at the last moment. The “buts” started their litany in my head…

• but it starts tomorrow…
• but it is in Atlanta – 7 hours away…
• but I’m grandparenting Theo tomorrow…
• but Rob is not naturally a spontaneous person…
• but money is very tight…
• but Rob has a conference call he’s leading tomorrow…
• but I don’t have any business cards. (See, I was going through all the negatives…)

My first reaction was to just give up. It seemed too hard – too many obstacles. I mean… who does this at the last minute??? Then I prayed about it because that’s a normal reaction when I don’t know what to do. And the next thing was talk to Rob – because we are a team. We talk through everything.

This was where the 5 Steps I listed above took over:

• we needed to decide if this was a viable endeavor…
• we needed to make a plan – to know what was needed to make our trip possible…
• we needed to take action in areas of our strength, and take action on our plan
• we needed to solve the issues that arose (and there were a few)…
• and now we are on our way. Halfway there as I’m writing this. We will celebrate at the conclusion of the event, when I’ve met my goals for the conference.

Decide + Develop + Divide + Dig + Done = TEAMWORK!

We used the power of teamwork to make a dream into a goal, and then took action to make it happen. In 2 hours.

It took two hours from the moment we decided we would make this work (at 10AM) until we were on the road to Atlanta at noon. We arrived in Atlanta before Office Max closed, and were able to pick up my business cards – which we had ordered online before we left Raleigh. Now I’m all set for the Blogging conference on Thursday and Friday. (I even brought a few copies of my book so I can give them away if anyone is interested.)

Better yet –  I can meet other bloggers in person, introduce myself and begin some online friendships, and learn lots from the speakers.

Teamwork made it happen!

This is part of an Instagram challenge for July 2016 – A to Z and a few numbers… ( check out our Instagram account – I’ll be posting photos from the conference,) These posts have become a series of Values posts!  The series can be found on the PAGE – 27 Values to Enrich your Marriage  (BTW – If you’re reading this post before the end of July 2016, then the page isn’t complete… I’m still writing! 😉 )

Hands Tell the Story of Solidarity

Jul 19, 2016

Solidarity is a perfect word for marriage (even if we don’t hear it that often). The Value of Solidarity has all the aspects of what we see in a marriage; a connection while being unified in doing life together as husband and wife.

Solidarity – a bond of unity around a common goal; a union of interests or purposes.

I’m fascinated with pictures of couples holding hands. But it’s not just about their hands…

Holding hands is an outward sign of solidarity.

Rob and I have been holding hands since we were 15 & 17.  His hands are so familiar to me.  So precious.  I know every little dot and spot.  I know the feel and shape of his hands. It feels odd to walk beside him and not hold hands. Robert’s hands are always reaching out to me, offering acceptance and steadiness.

Holding hands  – reaching out a hand – is more than a physical gesture.

When a couple holds hands, they’re defying the odds and declaring their unity. It’s a comfort, and a promise. Walking together and praying together – while holding hands – is a sign of connection to a common goal, and a promise to live your life together. It’s a signal of solidarity as you meet each challenge as one flesh.

Solidarity even in disagreement.  Do you and your spouse disagree? I’m guessing you’re like most of us, and don’t always see issues from the same vantage. Here’a suggestion for when you’re heading toward an argument: reach out to hold his/her hand.  It’s almost impossible to argue with any heat and hold hands at the same time! 😉

We are “doing” life together. Holding hands is a symbol of that promise of solidarity we made. It was a promise to love each other till we are parted by death from our spouse. Remember when you were married… did you hold hands or did the minister place your hands together during the ceremony?

Are you still united in that spirit of Solidarity?

This is part of an Instagram challenge for July 2016 – A to Z and a few numbers… ( check out our Instagram account) and it’s become a series of Values posts!  The posts in this series can be found on the PAGE – 27 Values to Enrich your Marriage  (BTW – If you’re reading this post before the end of July 2016, then the page isn’t complete… I’m still writing! 😉 )