Keep the excitement alive.

Push away predictability and boredom by occasionally surprising your spouse with something new.

And remember, it needs to be about them and not you.

~ from 7 Ways to Build Strength into Your Marriage

Do you ever surprise your spouse?

Wait!  Let me rephrase:  Do you ever surprise your spouse in a good way?

Surprising your spouse is great on their birthday, or your anniversary or Valentine’s…  but it’s even more effective when the surprise is – well – a surprise!

Here are 5 ways to surprise your spouse – in a good way:

1. Take your Love to a comedy club. What relationship couldn’t use a bit more laughter? (Proverbs 17:22 – “A cheerful heart is good medicine…” ) If a comedy club is too far away (or too risque), then create a long list of videos from YouTube and spend the evening watching and laughing in the privacy of your own home!  Laugh until your ribs hurt!
2. Find a massage therapist who will teach you how to massage each other. Touch is a precious gift – often the first thing in a marriage that is pushed aside when one of you is upset, or busy or tired. Imagine learning how to touch your spouse to bring relaxation…  and then going home to practice! 😉
3. Take your spouse to a concert. Music can invigorate, it can soothe, it can cause you to dream and reminisce…  What feeling is missing in your marriage right now?  (or you want more of?)  Reminisce and rekindle by going to a concert with music from when you first were dating – or find out what instrument is your spouse’s favorite and arrange an entire evening filled with that instrument.  Be energized with a rock concert.  Go deeper in faith – together – with a praise and worship concert.  Remember the Disney classic Fantasia – childhood favorites can be fun.  (You can even plan a concert at home by having a musician visit – or watch a concert on television/DVD)  I believe music is a language.  It communicates.  What would you like to communicate to your spouse?
4. A Gift.  Buy your Love a gift. What tangible thing delights your spouse?  Are shoes a delight?  What about books?  Clothes, sports equipment, tools…  Maybe you can’t define the exact article, but you know the genre.  Arrange an evening (or day) and buy gift certificates to shops that will carry the genre of gift.  (this way your spouse MUST spend the gift certificate – there’s no guilt involved)  Accompany your Love – all day or evening – and take delight in the choices your spouse makes.  You can make the time fun and adventurous – like a scavenger hunt with clues…
5. Use words to document how and why you love your spouse. Be extravagant and surprise your spouse with a poster.  (find a picture you both love and use a computer program to write on it. Then go to a photo shop – could be at a pharmacy – and have a poster made.  Or make a book about your life together with photos and captions talking about how much you love your spouse.  If there just isn’t any extra money available (right now), then plan an evening out – no kids! – and go to a card shop.  Spend a whole hour browsing through the greeting cards and have your Love read the ones you would give her/him – funny, sentimental, sappy, and creative.  No purchase necessary.  You could even take pictures with your cell phone of the evening out…  that way the memory can be preserved.  It’s the WORDS that matter!

One last reminder:

Make the surprise ALL about your spouse!

What ways have you surprised your spouse in the past?  Leave a comment and share!

Piotr Bizior - www.bizior.com