Do you feel like you belong in your marriage?
Exploring the Value of Belonging will enrich your relationship as husband and wife…
The initial declaration of love to your spouse is easy. It’s deciding to love, over the entire span of your lives together which truly makes the Value of Belonging a special part of your relationship.
Belonging: happiness felt in a secure relationship; acceptable; rightly classified.
The ability to be real with each other, to let the cracks and imperfections become visible, is part of the Value of Belonging. It begins with each of you knowing you can share every part of yourself – and there will be acceptance. Regardless.
Then the Value of Belonging in your marriage grows. It grows till this person by your side becomes your first and last choice. This person with whom you share your life, is your favorite.
It’s not about thinking the same. That’s impossible. We are each unique. The Value of Belonging has its strength in knowing the other person will not always believe what you believe, or think the way you think… and that’s OK. It’s fine to disagree. Regardless of your differences, there’s acceptance. You belong together.
Three Ways to Foster the Value of Belonging
Celebrate your differences. Introvert/Extrovert… Listener/Talker… Night Owl/Early Riser… Regardless of your differences, you can see the good in your spouse’s leaning toward what’s opposite to you and unique to her/him. The differences enhance your life, and you can explain why. Take a look at the 5 suggestions at the end of this post from the archive on Uniqueness.
Practice dating each other. Spending dedicated time together will grow your Value of Belonging. What’s important about dating? Read this post on 16 reasons date night is imperative. Dating allows you time to meet, face to face, and grow emotionally. That’s a huge part of the Value of Belonging.
Talk to each other – talk till you understand. Most people assume that being married will naturally translate to talking with each other. That’s not necessarily true… In our time traveling, Robert and I are together 24/7 – but we can still miss out on understanding each other. (Here’s an example from our travels in this post.) Conversations with each other will clarify issues, and enhance the Value of Belonging in your marriage. Here’s a funny story about a farmer who went to an attorney – it’ll make the point and give you a chuckle
How many people feel lonely – even surrounded by other humans? Don’t let that loneliness enter your marriage. It’s possible to introduce the Value of Belonging into your marriage, regardless how many years you’ve been married. It just takes some adjustments.
The adjustments begin with loving your spouse. (Don’t roll your eyes.) Want to know the secret to a long lasting marriage? We have some ideas from couples married more than 50 years in this post. Don’t procrastinate because you’re afraid to fail, or you don’t know where to start, or you’re feeling resentful or just too tired… (Move past procrastination to a great marriage!)
Use the Value of Belonging to enrich your marriage – maybe you’re already there… maybe you have a bit of a way to go toward feeling like you both belong in your marriage. It’s never too late to foster the Value of Belonging. Begin today.
B is for Belonging – 27 values in 27 days for husbands and wives leading meaninful lives. In Robert’s work, he’s defined 400+ values. I’m doing an Instagram challenge – and decided to use values to highlight how husbands and wives can enrich their marriages… I’ve decided to use BELONGING as the “B” value word for today. (You can find the other values beginning with “B”, which can be ascribed to marriage, below.)
- Balance – a state of equilibrium; poise; equality of distribution
- Belonging – happiness felt in a secure relationship; acceptable; rightly classified
- Benevolence – disposition to do good; charitable; generous in providing aid to others
- Bliss – a state of extreme happiness
- Bravery – courage; fearlessness; audacity
- Buoyancy – irrepressibility; ability to float; cheerfulness that bubbles to the surface
Read all the A to Z posts in this series!