93toJOY – What’s it about? — Are you and your spouse struggling with life right now?

Is it hard to encourage each other?

We get it. Really! There are days, months and even years in a marriage where you’re both “down”. We all get stuck in a rut! Finding easy ideas to move from “down” to “up” feels like too much effort. (Is it easier to watch re-runs of Big Bang Theory? Yeah. We’re busted too!)

That’s what this endeavor is for.

# 93toJOY – 93 ideas in 93 emails!

Seem excessive? Well, maybe… but we all didn’t get here at “underwhelmed” in a day or two. We’re not going to find our spark of joy in a few days, either. (See below for the longer story of 93toJOY)

Quick – Simple – Easy – Affordable – with options!

You’ll get 1 idea each day for three months (93toJOY) via an email. If the idea stretches you, we’ve done the work to make it easier. Most ideas don’t cost anything. All of them will take only a few minutes (or however long you choose). And you’ll get 4 PDFs with all the ideas to create your own JOY JAR for 93toJOY!

Fill in the form with your email.

Start to find your spark of JOY today!


The Longer Story of 93toJOY

Have you lost your spark? Does your life seem a long way away from being that joy-filled place you hope for? (We are there too.)

93 days to joy and encouragementAre things a bit dull, and you’re longing for some change… but you don’t know where to turn or what to do? Need some new things to try? Maybe some better habits? Running out of ideas?

Change doesn’t happen quickly or automatically.

Different scientific studies have looked at how new habits are formed, and I’m sure you’ve heard of the 30 days or 21 days before a change is part of your behavior. (Whoops! Did you just roll your eyes?)

As you might imagine, change is not a cut-and-dried process in a specific amount of days.

In fact, a 2009 study by Phillippa Lally and her team was published in the European Journal of Social Psychology describing that it takes individuals anywhere from 18 to 254 days for a new behavior to become automatic. (On average, it took 66 days for a habit to become part of a person’s life.)

What about changing how you feel? How long does it take to change that?

Let’s say that you and your spouse are feeling the impact of the stresses in your life. Let’s say that life together isn’t as fun or easy as it was a few years ago… and let’s say that you and your spouse are finding it hard to be cheerful.

We understand.93 to joy

We’ve had this as our reality; we’ve been in that place where it’s hard, almost impossible, to feel joyful.

Is joy a normal feeling for you right now? No?

I’m guessing you’re reading this because joyful isn’t the first way you’d describe your state of being – or your spouse’s life experience. Do you miss that feeling of joy? Or maybe you can’t even remember what it feels like to feel joy?

It’s hard to encourage each other when life is feeling less than joyful.

Now, I’m not talking about happiness.  Happiness is a fleeting feeling that’s here in one moment and gone in another. It’s often triggered by a specific act, action or inaction. No, not happiness.


Joy is an inner feeling that’s not so much impacted by circumstance, but rather it’s a sense of well-being.

So – have you misplaced your sense of joy?

Do you consider using the word “depressed” when you think of your sense of being?  Pressed down, and constricted? Weighted? Lacking motivation and ideas?

When I use the word “depressed” I’m not referring to the clinical condition. That’s a serious health and wellness issue. I urge you to seek help from a healthcare provider if you or your spouse have these symptoms.

A few emails aren’t going to address a serious clinical condition of depression.

Seek help right now – don’t wait any longer. There are people who are ready and waiting to talk with you if you’re feeling hopeless about the future… call them. Here’s a list of phone numbers where people are waiting to help you.

No judgment. No shame. Please talk with someone now.

But if you’re not clinically depressed…

What if you’re not clinically depressed, yet feel a general dullness of life. What can you do to change?

Life as husband and wife doesn’t have any sparkle. Oh, yes. You have some issues to deal with. (We all do!) There are troubles and problems that aren’t tragedies, but they do make life heavy. Days are filled with to-do’s that hold little joy. What now?

Robert and I have been in that place. We found it hard to encourage each other because life circumstances were just so heavy. TV became our panacea. (It didn’t really work. It was just a numbing agent.)  We ran out of ideas. And that’s not usual for me. We needed a boost to our joy also!

We wanted our sense of well-being – our joy – back!

That’s why I designed these emails – 93toJOY

93 emails. 93 little things to do with your spouse to encourage you both on your way back to finding your joy and sense of well-being in life… # 93toJOY

What are these emails supposed to do?

These emails won’t solve your problems. They won’t make your troubles shrink. 93toJOY are not going to solve your marriage issues, your parenting challenges, your financial crisis, or provide personal life goals.

They’re just little actions to do together – things that you might not have tried before. They’re meant to provide a spark…

They might renew your spark.

You already have an edge as husband and wife on this journey from down to up — each other! Let these little actions, which many have no cost, and most have only a little bit of time investment, spark your joy. They’re ideas. Quick. Simple. Easy.

Robert and I are doing these little actions right alongside you. We need to keep the joy in our life as husband and wife strong too!

(If you follow us on Instagram, I’ll be posting some pictures of us trying these actions so you can see us too! If you have an Instagram account use the hashtag #93toJoy and we can share!)

What are you going to get?

Well, obviously 93 emails. 😉

Why 93? Isn’t that a lot of emails? Yes, it is. But. I designed this series because of what I mentioned at the beginning – it takes a while to change. To shift. I figured three months would be a solid amount of time to be doing something interesting and new – although each is simple and wouldn’t take much time.

But you’ll get more than 93 emails, because not everyone is the same, and likes the same things…

11 pages to download & make into our own JOY JAR

93toJOY instructions

You’ll also receive a link to download 4 PDFs = 11 pages, where each page is divided into 9 squares with an idea in each square.

Except for the last page. Yes, there are 6 blank squares for all you math people!  Rob was quick to point that out when I was describing my idea! You can decide what you’d like to put into those squares!

What’s a JOY JAR?

A JOY JAR is filled with little squares of ideas that you can pull from if you don’t like the idea in the email! Just print out the 11 pages, cut each page along the outlines (9×11=99), and put them in a jar.

Set the jar filled with ideas on your kitchen table, and it’ll be a visual reminder that you and your spouse are taking actions to move toward joy!

Little actions. # 93toJOY Simple actions. # 93toJOY Some might seem goofy, or silly. Some might be new things you’ve never tried. (Or wouldn’t consider before this.) Most are free. Some of the ideas – just a few – are going to cost a little bit of money – but not a lot. In the email, I’ll give you suggestions on how to find alternatives to spending money.

And if the email idea for that day doesn’t suit you – like really, really, won’t work – then you can choose a different one from your JOY JAR!

Don’t wimp out – I challenge you to try the idea! None of them are crazy – just new. And remember – you’re on the road to sparking some joy. If laughter is the result of trying something new is that a bad thing?

I think laughing with your spouse for 93 days has got to do something good, right?

Come on – give the 93toJOY a try!

Yes. Give the idea of finding your joy – renewing your sense of well-being – a try!

You can always unsubscribe at any time. You can miss a few days. It’s not a life-or-death situation. This is about sparking JOY in your life as husband and wife! It’s about knowing you’re taking action to find that joy… It might even be fun.

There’s no cost for you to try this #93toJOY idea at this time. I’m doing this series as much for Robert and me, as for you and your spouse!

Wouldn’t it feel good to know you’re doing something other than watching TV with your spouse?

Maybe you’ll find something to ignite your interest & pursue it further.

Perhaps you’ll just laugh together. (Laugh so hard your belly muscles hurt!)

There will be something to write in your diary that’s more than a ho-hum-drum day.

You’ll be a good example for your children (even if they’re adults).

It’ll give you something positive to talk about at work or with friends!

Go ahead – start the emails now – fill in this form!

Robert and I will be with you and your spouse all the way! Literally and figuratively! 😉

Send us a quick note and let us know how the 93toJOY ideas are working for you! And if you have other ideas, let us know those too!

93 days to joy and encouragement