Kindness is encouragement in action.
You may be brilliant. You may have great ideas. You might even have all the experience and education to back up your suggestions. Sharing insights and ideas is valuable in a marriage.
It’s good to have active, engaging conversations and debates.
But sometimes the kindest action you can take to encourage your spouse is not to share what you’re thinking – but rather, just listen.
When was the last time you spent time
listening
to your spouse?
Not talking.
Not thinking about what you’ll say next…
Just listening.
3 Ways to Actively Listen
- Look into your spouse’s eyes – at their face. Let nothing distract you – shift your body so you are facing your spouse. (Obviously this won’t work if you’re driving!)
- Demonstrate you’re listening. Nod. Smile. Use small verbal clues like “yes” and “uh-huh”.
- Encourage more. Use phrases like “Tell me more.” or “Help me understand” or “What did you feel/think?”
(You probably already know these ideas – but sometimes we need to be reminded of the basics.
Kindness has converted more sinners than zeal, eloquence or learning.
~ Frederick W. Faber. British Hymn Writer
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Great post, Lori. I had a pastor once who said, “It’s better to be kind than to be right.” That fits with your quote. Unkindness really sticks with a person in a bad way.
Thanks for commenting, Bonnie.
I been on a real mental ‘kick’ lately about kindness…
Great reminder Lori! I was just talking with my oldest daughter about this aspect of her “future relationship.” Encouragement is huge. I tell my wife quite often that if I believe that she believes in me, then I can conquer the world! Men are wired that way… and their wives are the best ones to make the most of that wiring! Keep it up Lori!
Thanks for commenting, Carey. Happy to have you here and I thank you for pointing out the male perspective of encouragement!