Kindness is encouragement in action.
You may be brilliant. You may have great ideas. You might even have all the experience and education to back up your suggestions. Sharing insights and ideas is valuable in a marriage.
It’s good to have active, engaging conversations and debates.
But sometimes the kindest action you can take to encourage your spouse is not to share what you’re thinking – but rather, just listen.
When was the last time you spent time
to your spouse?
Not thinking about what you’ll say next…
3 Ways to Actively Listen
- Look into your spouse’s eyes – at their face. Let nothing distract you – shift your body so you are facing your spouse. (Obviously this won’t work if you’re driving!)
- Demonstrate you’re listening. Nod. Smile. Use small verbal clues like “yes” and “uh-huh”.
- Encourage more. Use phrases like “Tell me more.” or “Help me understand” or “What did you feel/think?”
(You probably already know these ideas – but sometimes we need to be reminded of the basics.
Kindness has converted more sinners than zeal, eloquence or learning.
~ Frederick W. Faber. British Hymn Writer