Robert & Lori FergusonThis post is written in tandem by Robert and me – kind of a “he said” and “she said” deal.  (the bluish italicized is Lori and thebold green is Robert.) It just seemed right that we share this post on adventure – you’ll learn why by the end of this post.

When you hear the word…

Adventure

What does it mean to you?

What does it mean to your spouse?

For a husband and wife, the word “adventure” might be viewed differently. Have you ever discussed the idea of adventure with your spouse? There are 5 benefits to adventure in marriage.

For Lori and me the word “adventure” is summed up by…

Discovery

Over the last few years, Robert and I have developed our three differentiating values.  These values, which are unique to the two of us, have become a tool when making decisions, and a guidepost for our activities.

One of our three values is DISCOVERY.

What does “discovery” mean to us? It includes

  • learning new things,
  • meeting new people,
  • experiences,
  • activities and
  • growth

Lori and I consider the value of discovery as covering all the changes life brings.  People can either look at change from a fearful, negative view – or as an opportunity to grow. 

Change

Regardless of the life season you’re in, (newly married, young kids, teens, adopting, career shift, relocation, empty nest, etc.) change is inevitable. 

Yup. Hate to break it to ya – 2014 will include change! How will you view those changes?

Can you embrace change as an adventure?

Over the years Lori and I have had a few adventures… starting with marriage. Marriage continues to be an ever-changing adventure! We’ve raised children (the adventure that keeps on giving), gone back to University with a wife and two young kids, educated our kids at home, immigrated to a new country, had career and partnership in a marketing communications firm, ministry in two countries, and our latest adventure – writing and working together in leadership, business and marriage. 

What would your list of adventures include? 

Give it a try – have a conversation with your spouse – ask. Make a list. You might find it enlightening what adventures your spouse includes.

Adventures in 2014

What adventures will this next year bring for you and your spouse?

Some you’ll be expecting. – birthdays, anniversaries, etc. (I turn a half-century this year!)

Other adventures will come as a surprise.

And then there are the adventures you both can design!

Encouraging Your Spouse in an Adventure

2014 will include a huge adventure for Lori and me. We’ve been considering this since before we were married, and shaping its format during the last five years.

To prepare for our adventure, Robert and I have been clearing out our home. We started during our 12-dates-in-12-days. In our off-site storage I found the letters Rob wrote me before we were married.

They’re kept in a wooden box my Dad gave me with a pithy, sarcastic note, “The rope is for tying up the love letters. The box is for keeping them. In 25 years the letters may not be worth much, but the box will be an antique.”  (My Dad got it wrong – I value the letters much more than the box!)

Standing there, in the storage space, Robert started reading them to me. In one letter from October 1981 (32+ years ago) he talked about traveling – and a trailer…  Obviously the seeds of our adventure have grown from there.

In 2014 Lori and I will be going on an adventure – traveling the North American continent with a truck and Fifth Wheel. Our home base will remain North Carolina. (Hey – our kids live here!)

The idea wasn’t a surprise to our kids, because we’ve talked about it for years. Close friends just nodded when we told them. And one friend (Robert married her and her husband at our home.) remarked, “Well, I’m not terribly surprised. It has always been part of your plan.”

Our first step on our adventure was to clean out. After 30 years of marriage, you can imagine how many treasures we’ve collected. I must admit, for me, it was very difficult. It challenged my statement that I’ve been making in conversations with God, that I’m not tied to anything here on this earth… 

front of house with website 640x480

Our next step is selling our house. (For the first time in 30 years we’re alone… Quick – we’ve gotta move so they can’t come back! LOL) That’s where we are now…  We’ve created a website to highlight its features, if you’re interested (or know anyone who wants to move to Raleigh!)

Check out 909Riverview.com to see our house and 4 acres for sale!

One fun part of the adventure has been looking at Fifth wheels!  We already have our Ford truck – now we need to decide what our “home-on-wheels” will look like…

What about?

Do we have all the answers? No.  It’s going to be a discovery.

Do we know what we’ll be doing as we travel? We have some ideas, but stay tuned as we discover…  We are looking forward to sharing a tea or coffee with all the wonderful connections we’ve made online as we pull into your town!

This adventure has come into being after a huge amount of seeking, asking, and knocking – Lori and I have been asking the Lord, wanting to know His will for this next step in our lives. We’re trusting Him.

This adventure feels like the headlights of a vehicle, while driving down the road in the darkest of night – you can only see as far the beams of the headlights illuminate… regardless, you will reach your destination. The key is to trust in the Lord.

F150 and 5th wheel header

However, in the preparation we’ve already discovered some things:

5 Things We’ve Learned About Starting an Adventure…

  1. Prayer is the only way to begin. Pray alone. Pray together. Pray.
  2. You must let go of some things to embrace adventure. (ideas, expectations, possessions, fear)
  3. Support your spouse when they find an aspect of the preparation difficult.
  4. Give it time. There’s a season for all things.
  5. Don’t expect to have all the answers. It wouldn’t be an adventure if you knew everything…

What would you add?

Have you been on an adventure? Do you have any advice or words of wisdom?  (Prayers are always appreciated!)