23 Easy Ways to Remember to Pray

23 Easy Ways to Remember to Pray

How do you find ways to remember to pray? Do you start every morning in prayer and end every day in prayer? Have you set aside a specific quiet time for prayer? Is prayer a focus on Sundays when you go to church?

Or is your desire to pray greater than your actual time spent in prayer?

I’m guessing your life is like mine. You’re busy. Time is chewed up by all the “to-dos” on your list. (Maybe prayer isn’t even on your list?)

It’s not that you don’t want to pray for your spouse and loved ones. You do. But you need ways to remember to pray. Yeah. Me too.

23 Easy Ways to Remember to Pray

To help all of us, I’ve divided these 23 easy ways to remember to pray into 2 sections: Cues to Pray, and Read, Write, Color and Pray Together.

Cues to Pray

    1. Put a sticky note on your beside lamp. You’ll be reminded to pray when you see the note. Keep these at your bedside and decide which shape corresponds to what you want to pray for,… it’s fun to change them out and nobody needs to know except you. In fact, you could place them near the light switches around your house, on the dashboard of your car, or at your computer. Lots of ways to remember to pray!sticky notes to remember to pray
    2. Set up daily reminders on your smart phone. Use the alarm option on your smart phone as a cue. Consider a special tone to pray for your spouse and sync the times to pray to know you’re both praying for each other at the same time. Years ago I knew families who stopped what they were doing at 10PM and prayed. If they were driving, they’d pull over and pray. Hmmm. Maybe we can renew that idea… ways to rememeber to pray use your phone
    3. Use these to write a big “PRAY” on your microwave. We often waste the seconds when microwaving our food by watching it go in circles inside the microwave. Instead use those 30 seconds to pray. And if you don’t want to write the word “pray”, then just do a big, decorative “P”! Let visitors inquire what the “P” means and you can talk about your faith and all the ways to remember to pray.ways to remember to pray - write it on your microwave
    4. Pray for your spouse when you see the make/model of the vehicle they drive. If you’re on the road use the cue of other cars as your reminder to pray. Know your loved ones’ make or model of vehicle and the opportunities become a regular reminder.ways to remember to pray car
    5. Colors can be a reminder to pray. What’s your spouse’s favorite color or print? When you see that color, it will be a reminder to pray for her or him. If your spouse doesn’t have a favorite color, then use the color of their eyes. You can do the same for your children. (Whenever I see lime green I think of Alex, our son. A deep royal blue is my reminder of Sarah, our daughter. And yellow triggers prayers for Alisane, our daughter-in-love.)ways to remember to pray color
    6. Link social media and prayer. Each time you open the Facebook app on your phone and see the first post, pray for that person. (If you don’t want to pray for that person, then why are you “friends” on Facebook?) Or you could discipline yourself to pray for your spouse before you open Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. If you have time for social media, then you have time to pray! 😉 ways to remember to pray social media
    7. Use your television (or computer monitor) to remind you to pray. Use your digital photos, wifi and Chromecast to stream them to your television. Pray for each person in the photo. Our son and daughter-in-love have this set up on their television. Here’s a lnk to learn how to do it for yourself. You can configure your computer screen saver to do the same for many ways to remember to pray.remember-to-pray-use-your-tv
    8. A shower of prayer. Use your time in the shower to pray. Write prayer prompts on these note pads for the shower or write on your shower walls with these to remind yourself. Moms and Dads of small children have very few moments of “alone time”. We see our daughter-in-love and son grasping at finding the energy and time to do anything other than the essentials. (I understand because after grandparenting for the day, I go to bed early!) However, we all still shower. And a few moments alone can be the perfect time to pray.
    9. Pray as your loved ones leave. Rob and I try to pray together before we leave our little house-on-wheels. (We’re not always successful.) But I ask God silently to be with him in his day as I hear the truck start. I silently pray for my adult children and the grandboy as I leave their house. Even if your spouse leaves your home before you’re awake, as soon as you wake up you can pray for him or her. ways to remember to pray
    10. Pour your coffee and pray. It only takes a few moments to make your coffee (or wait as the barista makes your coffee 😉  )  You can use those seconds before you take your first sip of that exilar of energy to pray.ways to remember to pray
    11. Let what you hear be your cue. A specific song could be your cue to pray for your loved ones. The sound of a train whistle, helicopters or planes could be a cue to pray. We hear many sounds during a day, and we could make use of those noises. When I hear the bubbling of a boiling tea kettle I think of my parents-in-law and pray for them. (They love their afternoon tea.) Are there specific television theme songs that remind you of your loved ones? ways-to-remember-to-pray-hear-listen
    12. Sing and pray. Use your Praise and Worship CDs/MP3s to tune your heart to pray. Or use an old-fashioned hymnal. The words in our traditional Christian hymns are deep and comforting. Many of them are taken directly from scripture. I have memories of my grandmother sitting with her hymnal, reading the words of the hymns. Keep a hymnal near a comfortable chair, and when your eyes fall on it, sit down and pray a while, using the hymns as your starting point.remember-to-pray-sing-hymns
    13. Active prayer. Do you run or swim laps? Discipline yourself to use that time to pray. Even a simple evening walk around the block with your spouse can include a time of prayer.ways to remember to pray run walk
    14. When you wash your hands look at your wedding ring and pray for your spouse. Instead of singing “Happy Birthday” 3 times, use the time to pray for your husband or wife. Those wedding bands are a promise and a symbol of your vows. Bring honor to your role as husband and wife by praying for each other.wedding-rings-reminder-to-pray
    15. Let your hand provide a cue. We take our hands everywhere we go… “Your fingers can be used to bring to mind different things to pray for. Your thumb is the strongest digit on your hand. Give thanks for all the strong things in your life, like home and family, relationships that support and sustain you. Your index finger is the pointing finger. Pray for all those people and things in your life who guide and help you. Friends, teachers, doctors, nurses, emergency services and so on. Your middle finger this is the tallest finger. Pray for all the important people who have power in the world, like world leaders and their governments. Your ring finger this is the weakest finger on your hand. It can not do much by itself. Remember the poor, the weak, the helpless, the hungry, the sick, the ill and the bereaved. Your little finger is the smallest and the last finger on your hand. Pray for yourself.” I found this prompt here on the Church of England’s website and adapted it for this post.remember to pray using your hand
    16. Make prayer an act of service for one person. (Do for one what you’d do for everyone… if you could.) Is there a widow or widower in your neighborhood that you could help? Perhaps take them for groceries, or mow their lawn. What about a single mother/father who needs some time for themselves? Could you take care of their children so they could go get a coffee? Perhaps it’s as simple as delivering Meals-on-Wheels once a week or volunteering at a soup kitchen. During that time when you’re serving, spend some time praying. You could even pray with them.remember-to-pray-while-you-volunteer

Read, Write, Color and Pray Together

Sometimes a book will remind you to pray. If your attention is on a subject, there’s a greater chance to take action. Here are 6 opportunities to surround yourself with books and apps that encourage you to pray.

Color your prayers. 

Maybe words escape you and you need a different way to pray… As a visual or kinesthetic learner, a distractable or impatient soul, or enjoying the adventure of trying new things, this book will answer your needs. Why not use color instead of words to pray?


Arrange your prayer time. 

This book has made a huge difference in how I pray. It includes a12 step prayer plan for an hour in prayer or 12 minutes….  There’s an introduction by Joni Erickson Tada and how this plan changed this physically challenged woman’s view of needing to go to bed early every evening because of her paralysis. Every time I deepen my understanding of prayer, it becomes easier to remember to pray.

The Power of a Praying…  

This book, The Power of a Praying Grandparent is just one of the series of books by Stormie Omartian about making prayer specific. I received a free copy from NetGalley, and read it right away. This book deepened what and how I prayed for our grandboy, even though we’ve been praying for him since before he was born.

I first become aware of the Omartians through their books, the Power of a Praying Wife and the Power of a Praying Husband. Robert and I recommend these books to every couple. Just by looking at the table of contents of each book, you’ll see how much you haven’t thought of…  I go back to my copy of praying for husbands regularly. It keeps prayer top of mind when I start to get lazy.

ways to remember to pray echo app Echo App – Ways to remember to pray

This is a free app for your iPhone specifically designed to remind you to pray and I’ve been adding in reminders to pray for specific things (things from the Praying for books above) for our grandboy, our adult children and Rob. My phone is usually with me, and the reminders are a way to keep my prayer life active.

prayer-journal-ways-to-remember-to-prayKeep a Prayer Journal

Choose a journal and use it as a reminder to pray. Keep it with you as you go throughout your day, and you’ll remember that prayer needs to be a regular activity.

This one is a pretty journal from DaySpring Cards Inc


Use your decor as ways to remember to pray.

Your surroundings show what you value. If you value prayer, then let your environment demonstrate that focus.

We live in a little house-on-wheels, so our decor and possessions are minimal. After researching this post, I’ll be adding a pillow to my couch with a reminder to pray. (Hey- a pillow is both decorative and functional, right? 😉  )

Last, but not least… join a group and/or find a prayer partner.

remember to pray by having a partnerOne of our favorite Bible chapters is John 17 – where Jesus was praying with and for his disciples and those who would follow Him in the future – that’s us! (John 17:20)

Want to remember to pray? Don’t pray alone! Your spouse is an ideal prayer partner. If you’ve never prayed together, or haven’t prayed for a while, then just start in a simple way. Here’s a post that’ll give you ideas.

Or you could join a prayer group at a local church. Or begin one yourself. How deeply do you feel the calling to pray?

Here are two books we recommend in this area: The Prayer Saturated Church and Praying Together: The Priority and Privilege of Prayer: In Our Homes, Communities, and Churches. 


Thankful to link with Spiritual Sundays and Give me Grace

This is a long list, huh?

23 easy ways to remember to prayI started out compiling the best list I could for ways to remember to pray, but this post has gotten quite long. To help you remember all your options, here’s a free 1-page PDF to download. It should make this easier for you.
Remember to pray for your spouse.

This is a general list all pointing to prayer. However, the person you first need to pray for is your spouse.

Remember her. Remember him. First.

Check In With Each Other- How Are You Doing?

Check In With Each Other- How Are You Doing?

Check in with your spouse – especially if you’re going to pray for her – for him. It’s a good idea. And we have a suggestion for you, even if your spouse isn’t very chatty about how they’re feeling, or what they’re concerned over. Why check in? We know you want to pray for your spouse.

For a while (and still every now and again) I’ve worked through a list from Stormie Omartian’s book, “The Power of a Praying Wife“. It’s a powerful book. (pun intended). Areas she’s written about to focus on are his job, his health, his relationship with God, his thoughts, etc. They’re all are covered in the pages of this book. (There’a companion book for husbands also.)

But what about specific areas? How can I know what to pray for in specific, targeted things Robert is worried/concerned about? And how does he pray for me?

Well…  we do a check in with each other.

How to Check In With Each Other

Here’s one practical way Robert and I use to check in on each other:

check in with each other on what is important

Physical – Mental – Emotional – Spiritual

After we check in with each other, on our best days, we are GREEN across the board, under all four areas: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.  (I don’t know where we got the idea of these four areas, and checking in on them, but it’s been working for us for years.)

How does it work for us?

If Robert seems weighed down or not at his best, I ask him how he’s doing, and he responds with each area and a color. If we didn’t use this idea, I could guess… and maybe I’d be right. Maybe sometimes. Or maybe not much.

  • I might guess that he’s disturbed by a challenge in his work. Instead, he has a bad headache. He’s a YELLOW physically.
  • I might guess that he’s just tired. Instead, he’s mentally torn as he struggles to resolve a particular challenge on an important project. He’s a YELLOW mentally.
  • I might guess he’s pondering over the book he’s currently reading. Instead, he’s anguishing over a serious financial issue. He’s a RED emotionally.
  • I might guess that he’s just angry at the other drivers on the road. Instead, he’s feeling very weighed down in spirit because he’s seeking an answer from God and not yet received a response. He’s a RED spiritually.

Don’t guess. Guessing why your spouse is acting a certain way rarely works. Check in with each other.

So many misunderstandings could be avoided…however, some spouse’s don’t share – or can’t share – exactly what they’re feeling. That’s why using this list of four areas – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual – along with a color to describe how they’re feeling is a good way to begin.

Check In With Each Other - Pray for What is Important

And then you know exactly how to encourage your spouse!

  • If your spouse is hurting physically, you can provide care, even if it’s only an ice pack and a kiss. And pray.
  • If your spouse is caught up in their head, you can be a sounding board and listening ear. And pray.
  • If your spouse is feeling pressed on every side emotionally, you can cry with them and remind them how much you and God loves them. And pray.
  • If your spouse is being attacked spiritually, you can speak God’s Truth to them. And really pray.

When you know what’s not GREEN then you will know how to encourage.

Check In with each other - then PRAY

And in everything, you can surround her/him in prayer!

Check in with each other – often. Be constant in prayer.

Here’s the book by Stormie Omartian I so enjoy using.

There’s a guy’s version also: The Power of a Praying Husband 

16 Reasons a Date Night is the Best Choice

16 Reasons a Date Night is the Best Choice

Date Night, for a husband and wife, can descend into a silent, mediocre meal, surrounded by strangers, with nothing better to take home than the bill. Why bother?

Here’s both the Big Picture and the Practical wrapped up in 16 reasons…

Take Back Date Night!

16 reasons a date night is the best choice for you and your spouse:

  1. Quality Time = Quality Marriage. Dedicated time for a date night with each other starts with a promise of quality time. (one the of the five love languages) 
  2. Be a Keeper. By being proactive, use date night to do something new, and stay connected all through your years of marriage. There’s no reason to fall out of  love (or “like”) with each other! Here’s a link to a post about what we’ve seen in couples married many years. 
  3. Stress Away.  No… really! Let that stress of daily life GO! Arrange a date night to let go of stress – music, physical activity, laughter, quiet contemplation while viewing a sunset or whatever works to recharge. A date night is the perfect opportunity to de-stress. 
  4. Reach Out and Touch. Physical touch is another of the 5 love languages. It’s priceless. (and not all about sex – but always could include intimacy!) Use date night to escalate the power of touch – from holding hands, to caressing a face, to massaging shoulders, to kissing, to…  (Yeah. You get the gist, right?) Play a bit. Only go further one step at a time – use an hour to go no further than touching each other’s hands, and the next hour to only touch above the neck, and the third hour to only use your mouth... elsewhere…(are you smirking yet?) 
  5. Stability in Change. There’s nothing so constant as change. Your life is going to change. Guaranteed. You will change. Your spouse will change. Your kids will change. Everything is always changing. (Tired yet?) Use date night to remain stable, emotionally and relationally,  in every change you encounter. 

  6. Challenged to Grow. Date night, done well, forces the two of you to stretch. What do I mean, “done well”? Whenever there’s a opportunity, you have two choices: put in some effort or seek the path of least resistance. Your marriage will grow if you always put in the effort, and date night is a regular way to make sure you push yourself
  7. Inject Humor into a Serious Life. Robert and I are pretty serious. We feel we don’t laugh enough, and deliberately seek out opportunities to be around people who find laughter easy. What about you? Are you one of those easy-to-laugh couples? (Hey- want to hang out together?) If you do find it easy to laugh, share your gift with each other, and others! And if you’re like us, then use date night to watch YouTube videos, listen to comedians on Sirius Comedy channel, go to the bookstore and read each other funny comics – or the card store and pick out cards to make each other laugh! (Just read them and carefully put them away  – it doesn’t have to cost anything!) 
  8. “Yes, I’d marry YOU again!” Words of Affirmation. Assurance. Use date night to affirm your spouse. (That’s another of the love languages!) After you’ve been married for multiple decades (or even before that) and life becomes either hum-drum, or hectic, it’s deeply valuable to know your spouse admires you… still.  Or that your spouse values you… still. Or your spouse would choose you all over again! 
  9. More than. You are more than a man. More than a woman. You are more than a mother. More than a father. More than a grandparent, an employee, a minister, a clerk, a lawyer, a note-taker, a cook, a dog-walker. You are the other half of another person. It’s so easy to lose track of that fact. To mitigate its importance.  As spouses, you are One-Flesh. Made for each other. United. 
  10. Asking for Help. It’s not what you might think – I’m not suggesting you use your date night to go to counseling. Rather, have you ever considered a date night focused on prayer? I’m guessing your life isn’t all peaches and roses. I imagine you’re kind of like Rob and me – you’ve got problems. Concerns. Use an hour of date night to pray together – ask for help from the ONE who has all the answers and all the power. Date night doesn’t need to be (only) fun and games. You’ve already taken time away – you’re disconnected from everyday life.,, Date night is also there for the serious stuff. Make date night count – use it for the problem times too! 

  11. Be Unique! Unfortunately, it’s not common to find couples who are deliberate about making time for a date night. It’s rare to find husbands and wives who have a night/morning/afternoon date – alone – every week. Yes, it is sad. Heart-breaking. Especially when you talk with couples who are contemplating divorce and can’t remember the last time they spent quality time together. 

     Here’s a personal story – we have friends in Dallas – married many decades, who go on a weekly “date night”. Her work even knows not to schedule her on that evening, because it’s “date night”! In her role as the Director of First Impressions at a call center, she shares her view on the value of date-night… and she lives it! Couldn’t we all be like that?

  12. You’re a Team. Have you forgotten? Husband and wife are a team – tackling life together. Your kids are going to grow up – your buddies/girlfriends will shift, your employment will change… You. Are. A. Team.  Use date night to work together on a project, to overcome a fear, to plan a new outcome, and set goals. Oh, please set goals together! Here’s a post about setting goals as husband and wife. 
  13. Keep Each Other Young. Use date night to play. Use that time together to renew your playful spirit, and to find the kid hidden inside you both. Try board games from your childhood, or legos, or swing, or play hop-scotch, or…  
  14. Ask Great Questions. Robert just finished a great book, A More Beautiful Question: The Power of Inquiry to Spark Breakthrough Ideas by Warren Berger. The premise of the book is that by questioning, deeply, imaginatively, and “beautifully” we can identify and solve problems, come up with game-changing ideas, and pursue fresh opportunities. Use the power of questions to enrich your life together! Need suggestions for questions? Try our eBook!  
  15. Romance is ALIVE and well! Do you remember the “tingles”… those flutters, and quivers when you first saw your spouse? My first memory of Rob is hearing his deep, bass voice answering questions behind me in church. (I was 14 – he was 16.) Later, when we began dating, I would get this thrill, just to know he was going to knock on our side door, and take me out for the evening. When was the last time you felt the “tingles”? Have you dressed up for your spouse lately? Have you given her a gift? (Yeah, gifts are another of the five love languages.) What about trying a few new options in your intimacy, or an invitation to slow dance to a love song… a moonlight kiss, or a love note? A date night will keep the romance in your marriage alive!  
  16. Connect and Communicate to Encourage. We all long to feel understood, don’t we? We all need to feel affirmed. Each spouse – husband or wife – wants to feel valued. Date night does all of this – if you’ve decided to make the event (morning, noon or night) a tool to connect and communicate. It’s up to you. Each of you. Date night is the best choice to encourage your spouse, if you keep this in mind. 

Is it time for a date night? 

… to communicate, face-to-face…

… to connect emotionally …

Intentionally share yourself with your spouse. 

Date Night. With a purpose.

…arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away. 

O my dove, in the clefts of the rock,

in the crannies of the cliff,

let me see your face, let me hear your voice”

Song of Solomon 2:13-14

Is it time for a date night-


Hope Faith Love Prayer Action

 I’m sure you’ve already heard of the book by Gary Chapman, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts – but in case you have yet to read it… please – take the time!

Really. You’re relationship will be forever changed!

It’s the first resource that Robert and I recommend for anyone. Everyone. It’s easy to understand, and easy to do. Yup. It has the big picture and the practical.

There are 5 ways we feel loved – and one of them is our primary way. So many spouses believe they’re communicating their love, and yet the other isn’t “getting” it. This book will get you on the road to solving that problem.

Have you read it a while ago? Maybe it’s time to re-read it. Together. With your spouse!

AH… another date night activity?

Take Back Date Night
Thankful to link with:

Wednesday Prayer Girls 


How to Know the Good Reasons for Marriage

How to Know the Good Reasons for Marriage

What are the good reasons for marriage?

No matter how long you’ve been married – whether your marriage has been smooth sailing or you’ve been smashed down by tsunami-sized waves, time and again… just consider:

For what purpose is God using you and your spouse – today?  

There is a purpose. There are good reasons for your marriage.

I’m sure of it!

Our Almighty,






Able and Sovereign,


has it ALL – our past, our future

– in His hand.


makes no mistakes.

He has a purpose. There are good reasons for your marriage.

He is a master at creating all things new, at authoring fresh beginnings, at engineering miracles, at wrapping up  battles – which appear to be hopeless – into glorious victories…

Even when we think we have it all planned out… HE is the director of every step.

Big Picture

A man’s heart plans his way,
But the Lord directs his steps.

Proverbs 16:9

When you got married, there were reasons for your marriage, weren’t there? We all make plans, some good, and some not so great. Fortunately, God makes no mistakes in directing our steps, regardless of our plans.

It’s considered a positive trait to pro-actively work a plan, isn’t it? But in the end, whether your plans seemed good at the time, but didn’t work out to be as great as you hoped, be comforted that God is directing your steps. He has it all mapped out, and will either work with your plans, or work around your plans, to direct the way you should go. He can make use of your marriage…

The key is to ask Him.

How to know the good reasons for marriage - Ask, Seek, Knock. PRAY!


Take a step back – yes, look at the bigger picture of your life with your spouse – and view where God has used you and your spouse for His purpose. Can you see a pattern?

Some couples feel God has put them together to serve a greater need, whether a spiritual goal such as ministry, or a natural goal, such as contributing through a business or non-profit. Some couples are sure the reason they are together is to be model of how a marriage can be reconciled through grace, even after infidelity. Some couples are fulfilled and energized by raising a family. Other couples combine their talents to enrich lives…

There’s a view which paints the picture that the reason for marriage is to learn how to be holy.

Because our God is so creatively amazing, and we all are different, we have different reasons for marriage. And different ways He uses our marriage for His glory.

Have you asked God what He would like to do with the two of you?

Even if you can’t see a pattern to your life, and how God has used you and your spouse – or – even if you can’t see a way forward to how God could use such an imperfect couple… have you asked Him?

Ask. Seek. Knock. 

Know the Good Reasons for Marriage

Ask God, in prayer, to know how He’d like to direct your steps as a couple.

Keep watching. Look for His direction. And then keep praying. Continue, praying without ceasing, to discern God’s direction for your life together as a couple, and the good reasons He has for your marriage.

You can be encouraged, and encourage your spouse, through this asking in  prayer.

But what if you haven’t ever prayed together? Then, start small and simple. Just hold hands, and thank God for each other. Ask for your steps to be guided by Him.

There is a reason He put the two of you together… There are good reasons for your marriage.

I believe God put us together for a reason - Reasons for Marriage - 101 phrases to Encourage Your Spouse

Recommended Reading

Sometimes we all need to see marriage in a new light – and hear how someone else’s views on marriage – to explore where we can grow. Here are three book recommendations:

The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God

This book gives a beautiful picture of what marriage was meant to look like  – and to give both married and unmarried people a vision for what marriage is according to the Bible.  Robert and I appreciate when husbands and wives share their experiences in marriage, and that’s included in this book – Timothy and Kathy Keller have been married more than 37 years.

What Did You Expect?: Redeeming the Realities of Marriage

Marriage is never what you expected – in the first year, the 10th or the 50th year, is it? Marriage is a constantly growing experience, and hopefully husband and wife are growing together! What we like best about this book by Pastor Paul Tripp, are the six commitments for marriage – they provide solid and practical direction. (Yeah, big picture and practical!) It appears that there’s a newer edition of this book coming available soon.. What Did You Expect? (Redesign): Redeeming the Realities of Marriage  (The original had a different cover, and was a gift from Tom and Debi at The Romantic Vineyard)

Grace Filled Marriage: The Missing Piece. the Place to Start.

We wrote a post about this book, but what I liked best was the future focus of the promise Grace will bring to everyone’s marriage; a secure love, a significant purpose, a strong hope, to be different and vulnerable, and to be candid and make mistakes. Because we’ve been called to be gentle with each other in marriage, Grace is the answer!

We’ve read and discussed these three books – they’re packed away in storage right now, as we’re traveling, but we very much value their perspectives and what we learned toward the reasons God has us together.  There are days our purpose is clearer than others, but encouraging is always a part of Robert and my reason to be together! We encourage each other, and seek to encourage others.

Do you know the reason God put you two together?

How has God used you – directed your steps? Leave a comment!

This post is part of the series 101 Phrases to Encourage Your Spouse – see the video!

(The books above are affiliate links – should you decide to purchase one, there’s no added cost to you, but you’ll be blessing Robert and me with a few pennies. )

Gentleness – It’s the Strong Value Your Marriage Needs

Gentleness – It’s the Strong Value Your Marriage Needs

Gentleness may not be what you think it is… or it might even be more than you believe. It’s never weak. And it can be found in every great marriage.

Possible in every marriage.

There are lots of head-strong, forceful individuals who are married. Sometimes both husband and wife are considered strong, driven, decisive, and goal oriented. Why would they want to incorporate gentleness into their marriage? Isn’t gentleness considered a ‘weak’ value?

And what about those individuals who have great strife in their marriage? Endless financial battles, massive addiction struggles, unwieldy family carnage, and so much more, which sums up the whirlwind of their years together. Those individuals can’t practice a passive value like this, can they? Where could gentleness fit into their marriage?

Why does every marriage need this value?

Gentleness, as a value, means even-tempered; considerate; honorable, strength under control.

3 Aspects

These three aspects can be summed up by one image: an adult hand holding an infant’s hand:


Strength Under Control

Strength under control can have the greatest impact in a marriage. Learning to control your actions, words, and even thoughts is the beginning of gentleness. Just think of the power of an adult hand, and the delicacy of an infant…


Distance is the enemy of gentleness. Gentleness is never distant – it always is practiced in proximity to the one you love. Practicing this value in your marriage means staying close to each other in mind, body, and spirit. Imagine the feeling of that little baby’s hand in your yours…


Gentleness is considerate. It takes into account your spouse’s moods, and feelings, and acts accordingly. And responds quickly  – with grace. There’s a special focus when you hold an infant, isn’t there? You’ll rarely take your eyes off them, will you?

Today will never come again…

Let your gentleness be evident (1)

Today will never come again … 

“Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.”  Philippians 4:5

Be gentle with your spouse – don’t be anxious about things…

“… but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

And the peace of God,

which transcends all understanding,

will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” 

Philippians 4:6 NIV

Perhaps this scripture holds the key to gentleness…  with the peace of God, which we can’t truly fathom – our hearts and minds are guarded. We can put all our anxieties and requests into prayer – always remembering to give thanks to Him who is the author of our lives.

10 Ways to Practice Gentleness

Here are 10 ways it can be practiced in marriage.

  • Gentleness deliberately waits to address difficult issues till the time is right.
  • Gentleness honors your spouse’s free will, without joining in to placate her/him.
  • Gentleness shines a light on a tender issue while exercising respect.
  • Gentleness remains even-tempered during a crisis, yet stays alert for possible dangers.
  • Gentleness offers a hug when a spouse messes up, and remains silent in commiseration.
  • Gentleness uses light humor to diffuse tense moments.
  • Gentleness protects vulnerable spots but addresses the hurt that needs healing.
  • Gentleness never needs to yell, and never cowers or whimpers.
  • Gentleness takes its time to consider all the facts, but is quick to ask for forgiveness.
  • Gentleness remains ever present, even if it’s never acknowledged.

 Increase your strength by being gentle. 

To create a healthy, strong marriage, practicing the value of gentleness might just be the perfect fitness program!

 How has gentleness strengthened your marriage?

Share the ways your spouse is gentle with you – and you are gentle with your spouse…

 ADD to the list on how to practice this value!