Celebrate today. Even if it’s not your anniversary today, do you still have something to celebrate… today? 😉 I’m guessing you do!
Every decade has been a very different ride for Rob and me, and so far, our third decade of marriage has had a few more downs than ups. We’re only through a third of the decade, so hopefully, we’ll experience some “ups” in the next years. But even if we don’t, there are always things to celebrate. Always.
What could you celebrate today?
Holding hands. That’s a big thing to celebrate. In fact, it feels odd for Rob and me if we’re walking together and do not hold hands! What about you and your spouse? When was the last time you held hands? A few years ago I wrote a post on The Happy Wives Club about the importance of our hands as husband and wife. I told a story about a couple we interviewed who were married for 53 years and what I remember most about them was that they held hands all the time! Now, that’s something to celebrate, huh?
Sharing a conversation about memories. Do not underestimate the value of your history together. You have shared life together with your spouse for years… and those years are a blessing. We spoke with a couple recently who reminisced about an anniversary where they went through every year in their conversation and could highlight at least one good memory from that year. (They’re married 35 years!) That’s a great conversation to have with your spouse. Celebrate your good memories!
Your shared relationships with others. Begin counting the relationships you share – as husband and wife – with others. Make a list. Consider the rich impact those relationships have on your life, and how you also could impact those other important people in your life. Do you have “couple friends”? (We discussed this concept in one of our videos earlier this year from a book review.) Research has shown that the more couple friends you have, the greater sense of satisfaction you have with your life. What about a relationship with your parents, siblings, and children? Adult children are awesome! Perhaps it’s time to reach out to the people in these relationships and celebrate with them!
What you can celebrate today is much more than you believe at first glance.
And even if life isn’t all diamonds and roses, take a moment to consider all the blessings you can celebrate! Then say to your spouse,
“Although our wedding day was many years ago, I’m so thankful we’re still celebrating today!”
This post is the 5th of 10 posts on words to encourage your spouse on your anniversary – or anytime! Encouragement isn’t always about words… but sometimes it can start with words! Here are the other posts – just click on the photo to read the ideas and suggestions.
Encouraging words for your anniversary… Is it always easy to find those encouraging words? Some years you may have many wonderful words to share with your spouse. However, there may be other years when you need a little help. (This is true for Rob and me too!)
Encouraging words for your anniversary!
Some encouraging words for your anniversary… or anytime!What dates do you and your husband or wife celebrate or commemorate? Are there other significant dates you could being celebrating? 😉 Maybe some encouraging words on those days would be good also!.
Over the next 10 days, I’ll be sharing 10 ideas on what you could say (and do) for these significant dates and the days that follow.
#1 – “I promise to love you more every day.”
Our marriage is about more than the days and years. It’s about how much more we love each other every day.
As the days and years go by, we could start to take our love for each other for granted.
What if this year you loved your spouse more every day?
How could you do that? In what ways – every day – could you demonstrate your love is growing? What could you begin doing? Or stop doing?
start and end every day prayingwith each other – for each other
start having a date every week! It doesn’t need to be expensive or be hours and hours! A date could be as simple as walking to the closest convenience store and buying each other a favorite chocolate bar! (You do know your spouse’s favorite treat, right?)
Do you know your spouse’s love language? Could you “speak it” more often so your spouse feels loved?
Go HEREto determine your own love language, and have your spouse do the same. It only takes a few moments and it’s free! Even if you’ve done it before, it’s valuable to do it again. Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts is a book Rob and I recommend as the first concept for every couple to use no matter where they are in their relationship journey.
When is your anniversary?
What’s the best gift you’ve ever received from your spouse?
Maybe it was something physical… maybe it wasn’t! Did it correspond to your love language?
Rob left sticky notes with words of affirmation around our little house-on-wheels… that was a wonderful gift for me!
New experiences (the Value of Discovery) have played a huge part in our 33+ years of marriage. Whether they’re small discoveries, like a new restaurant… or big experiences like our time in the RV parked in beautiful places…
…they’ve all created good memories we reminisce about whenever we have a down moment or 2 or 10,080.
Good memories of things you’ve enjoyed together are part of a strong marriage.
What new experiences do you enjoy as a couple?
Some couples enjoy learning. Others love to travel. And some couples are passionate about entertainment, or sports or hiking, museums, shopping, cars, antiquing, and other activities.
What’s your newest discovery, passion or experience as a couple?
Rob and I have good friends who are wine enthusiasts. They take delight in traveling to the west coast of the USA for new experiences with wine-tasting excursions. They’ve shared some of their favorite wines with us, and we’ve loved the experience.
To be candid, we really don’t know what we like in wine… so we’d need to be guided if we were to have a “wine discovery experience” in our future. Are you like us?
Do you need help exploring to know what kind of wine you’d like?
Is someone on your gifting list interested in wine?
Anniversaries or birthdays or Christmas are all reasons we give gifts – what about the gift of a wine experience?Bright Cellars has a unique gift program where they send a certificate (or you can hand deliver it) to someone to try the experience of new wines!
Try the wine quiz!
Click the picture to begin – it’s fun!
If you’re at all like Rob and me, we stand in the store and look at the aisles of wine, wondering how to choose. This idea takes the pain of choosing away, and just leaves you with the fun of unwrapping a new experience!
Maybe your spouse would like a “wine experience”?
Here’s a creative way to share something with your spouse – a new memory to make! And have a special gift for her – or him!
This post is an affiliate post. If you purchase we’d receive a small commission at no cost to you – we appreciate your support.
Rob and I suggest this gift experience with caution. Many people enjoy wine and alcohol in moderation without any adverse impact. However, we are also aware of many who find alcohol a destructive poison for their life and marriage. Use wisdom in considering this idea.
Encourage and motivate your husband or wife? Sometimes words (alone) won’t motivate or encourage, but they are a place to begin…
21 things to say to encourage and motivate your spouse…
Below are 21 ideas for you to say or text or write in a note to encourage your spouse. Play around with the ideas – make them your own!
But then what? What can you do after you use these phrases to encourage and motivate? Here are three things to do that will add some real emphasis to your words:
Inspire with HOPE – convey these phrases with a belief of hope for the future. Provide concrete ideas on how this hope can come alive.
Lift up your spouse with PRAYER – your faith in God and all He can and will do can be backed up with prayer. Pray aloud, pray with your husband or wife, ask others to pray. Be a warrior. Need help learning to pray? Take a look at these ideas.
Support with ACTION – this is where your words make the greatest impact. What can you do to demonstrate what you’re saying is true? Remember – you and your husband/wife are a team. What are you doing to hold up your end of the teamwork? Be a “Dream Team” –read this to learn how!
Your ability to encourage and motivate is like any other skill. It takes practice. Each spouse is unique – every time-period is different. You know what makes all the difference? NEVER giving up!
Be thankful. Demonstrate gratitude. That’s how to get out of the rut of mid-marriage blahs.
Being thankful is one way to realize there’s “more” in marriage than you thought.
Be thankful – thankfulness makes everything new!
We encourage you and your spouse to start a habit of thankfulness – perhaps at every mealtime, you can each think of one person or thing you’ve been thankful for in that day. Do that for at least 2 weeks and see what a change of view it can cause!
Then… take action together and write a note or text that person who has brought that feeling of thankfulness to you.
thank the attentive cashier as you check out your groceries
send a Facebook “thank you” to a long-distance friend who brightens your day with their memes
PRAY for those you’re thankful for – ask God to bless them
smile and thank the person sweeping or mopping or collecting trash where ever you are
give your children a huge hug and be thankful that they are yours!
tweet a favorite writer whose prose makes a difference in your life
text your minister and thank him/her for having a servant’s heart
write a note and send it to your parents – no special occasion – just be thankful
send an email to a teacher, a co-worker, a client, your local governmental representative, another couple friend, your siblings, the person who cuts your grass, the business owner who you value…
Maybe make a list?
You probably know that Robert and I are doing the #93toJOY challenge… one of the days has a prompt to write out 100 things/people for which you’re thankful! (it’s not as hard as you’d think!)
When we did the prompt our first 50+ were all people!
Have you ever made a list of all the items you’re thankful for? Try it tonight! You’ll end up feeling really good about your life together. And then take action to write a few notes, or send emails or texts or shout out on Facebook or Instagram to those people on your list.
Rob and I are going to be taking those names on our list and reaching out this weekend!
Join us on the #93toJOY journey!
#93toJOY is for when life isn’t as easy, isn’t as fun, and you’re not feeling connected with your spouse in the way you’d like. Learn more HERE. We put photos on our Instagram account (http://instagram.com/Robert_and_Lori) with the hashtag #93toJOY – take a look!
Be thankful! Leave a comment on what you’re thankful for today!