As a husband or wife you do more than have an intimate, sexual life with your spouse, raise your children, pay the bills, and live and worship together, don’t you?
Your spouse is also your friend. A real friend.
But what does that mean?
What does it mean to be a real friend?
You might reference neighbors, co-workers, family, employees, church members, classmates, and online acquaintances as “friends”. However I imagine you share your life differently with each category of friend.
Not all labelled as “friend” will know your pain of infertility, or joy at paying off debt. You won’t share your fear of having nothing to do in retirement or excitement over finding the right medication to control your incontinence with everyone. But I hope your spouse hears all these thoughts – and even if that’s not the case right now there’s still time to…
Make your spouse your friend. Work together to be a real friend to each other. What’s a real friend?
Real friends speak the truth in love.
Even when the conversation is going to be difficult – a real friend finds the best time to talk, and a way to phrase the wording so the other feels safe. Read 1Corinthians 13 to learn more about what LOVE means.
Real friends focus on hope for the future.
There’s no giving up to a real friend – they’re always looking for what’s going to be good about the future. They can see all the bad stuff, yet still point at what could be good- soon. Begin your journey with hope here: Romans 15:13
Real friends share their faith in God’s goodness.
A real friend may not be able to fix everything, but they always point to the One who can! David is a great example of always pointing out God’s goodness. Psalm 121
Real friends pray – for & with – each other.
Prayer is a first-line of defense for a real friend. A real friend prays without being asked and shares in prayer those things which lay heavy and are most important. A real friend never stops praying. Luke 18:1
Real friends lend a hand and help – showing respect.
There are more than empty words in a relationship with a real friend. Solidarity and respect play a part when a real friend lends a helping hand. Sometimes the help given is standing firm – being present. And there are times when a real friend shoulders everything until another solution can be found. We strive to love like Christ, don’t we? John 15:13
Have courage. Real friends encourage.
Encourage your spouse.
Thankful to Link with:
Wedded Wednesday | Transformed Tuesday | Wifey Wednesday | Thrilling Thursday
Being a friend to your spouse is so important and being best friends is even better.
I agree, Steve & Chrissy – being best friends is a great spot to live in. Thanks for stopping by!
Love the biblical truths you sowed into this post. Thanks for linking up at Transformed Tuesdays hosted by moretobe.com!
Happy to connect, Elisa – thank you for your kind words.
Friendship is so important in marriage and yet I don’t think it’s really fleshed out for couples very often, Lori. So I really appreciate you doing that for us here. You’d think it would be simple or easy to know how to be friends with your spouse, but I hear from many young couples that this is an area they really struggle in. Thanks so much for these insightful ideas and for linking this up at Wedded Wed. I really appreciate it, my friend!
Thanks Beth – Always thankful to link up at Messy Marriage and read the insights from so many great bloggers.
I agree about the friendship in marriage thing – I’m often perplexed when I watch husbands and wives interact. I want to whisper in their ear … “Would you treat a friend this way?”
I am so grateful that my wife loves me enough to tell me the truth. She is honest with me and helps me see areas where I struggle and that I need to work on. Without her I would be blind to many of them. She helps me be better. And it’s not always easy for her to tell me what I need to work on (I can be pretty obstinate sometimes) but she does it because she loves me.
Also, I’m happy to be your newest follower! I’d love it if you could take a second to check out my blog and follow me back 🙂
Thanks so much,
Tyson@Uplifting Love
Thanks for commenting and connecting! Happy to have you here – and I will drop in on you over at Uplifting Love.
Great post! It’s just the same thing my female bestie and I were discussing about how we feel about our husbands! Thanks for Linking up at Thrilling Thursday! I hope you’ll be back next week!