I’ve been researching time management and procrastination.And yes, I’ll say it before you can think it: All the research might count as procrastination. 😉 I’ve ingested the poison of procrastination often…
Here’s my confession: We have a small issue with doing things at the last moment. Sometimes it’s a time management issue – sometimes it’s a procrastination poison. And when I say “we”, I mean me. And Robert. And our adult kids.
Are you seeing a trend? We have a new grandboy, and I really don’t want to pass this trend on to the next generation… Our family’s inside joke is to use the hashtag #fergusontime — usually in a text to each other when we’re running late.
Being Aware of Procrastination
As soon as I find myself procrastinating, I realized I need to be self-aware and determine exactly why I’m procrastinating…
Exactly. In detail. What am I afraid of? By being brutally honest with myself over the reason I’m procrastinating, I can address the fear (and it’s usually a stupid fear), to develop a solution, work-around, or strategy to begin – or more often, finish -whatever I’m avoiding. Yeah. I’m a great starter, but haven’t been as successful at finishing. Yet.
Here are 9 reasons we all procrastinate:
fear of the outcome (good or bad)
helplessness over a lack of knowledge
boredom – a lack of interest
perfectionism – if you can’t be perfect, what’s the point?
saving energy for something else (otherwise known as laziness)
fatigue – being just too tired, physically and mentally
rebellion/resentment over the task
no motivation – holding the belief that taking action won’t get you anything
distraction – too many other things taking precedence
Have you ever encountered any of these issues?
I’m going to guess that you can relate with one or more of these nine reasons to procrastinate. I’m going to suggest that you’ve encountered them in many areas of your life; in your job, in your household work, in your health, in your fitness, in your undeclared goals (like writing a book, running a marathon, starting a business etc.), in parenting, and in relationships.
Do you ever procrastinate when it comes to your marriage?
Do you put off spending time with your spouse because you really don’t want to talk about a certain issue?
Do you let the busy-ness of life supersede your relationship?
Are you fed-up with not having the marriage you’d hoped to have, so you avoid your spouse?
Where has procrastination crept into your relationship with your husband or wife?
I’m guessing you’ve used all these nine reasons to procrastinate in your marriage relationship at various times, for varying reasons… I just need to say:
Procrastination is an enemy of encouragement.
Yes. Just like procrastination is an enemy of achieving anything in life – succumbing to procrastination ensures you’ll never encourage your husband or wife. And… next I’ll have the audacity to take it further:
In the book I detail all nine reasons why we procrastinate in our marriage, and provide work-arounds, solutions, and suggestions to move past those procrastination poisons.
The book is available this weekend – Friday, April 29, 2016 till Monday May 2, 2016 – for FREE!The digital version will be free to download to your ereader (Kindle) or Kindle app on your smartphone, tablet or computer.
Robert used music to introduce date night, and to change my mood after a long day…
I’ve been entertaining a young man during the day on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. He’s adorable, even when he’s demanding my attention with all his vocal ability. In addition, I’ve been revisiting all kinds of entertainment with this new guy, including the lyrics to the songs in Robin Hood (the animated Disney version), and Mary Poppins. They’re fun, but not what I’d call romantic.
Who is this new guy in my life?
This is our grandboy, Theodore. He’s 4 months old, and quite a fellow. His bald head is great to kiss. His smile makes me feel like I’ve won an award, and his baby-babble is mesmerizing.
However, after a day of baby joy, Robert knows I’m going to be tired. I’m so tired, that my arms feel like they’re going to fall off… ’cause this guy is heavy. Yes, he’s a 20-pound armful.
Using Music To Introduce Date Night
We were driving back to our little house-on-wheels after a day with the grandboy, and our evening was open for a bit of a date night. Robert knew I was tired.
He’d already planned ahead.
As we drove, he used his phone to queue up a song on our truck’s audio system… and said,
Have you tried the power of music to change your mood?
Spend a little time looking up the theme songs from romantic movies you and your spouse love to watch – perhaps you even have them already in your movie library at home.
Make a play list of theme songs that immediately bring a smile to your face. Use the power of music to get you in the mood to reconnect with your spouse.
What are some of your favorite “date-night” movies?
(Just a Note—The movies I’ve listed are our favorites, but some of you reading this post might find them a bit risque or violent. Everyone has different triggers, and must make their own decision on what is appropriate.).
At a recent bridal shower, we played a game. It involved a bowl full of candies and we all chose three different colored candies. Each color of candy was connected to a concept – and we were challenged to share with the group our responses…
The orange candy was connected to the concept, “Someone you admire & look up to and why.”
A few of us chose the orange candy. As our turn came to respond to the questions, it was interesting to hear stories about who we admired and why. (I chose an orange candy, and told everyone about my friend, Donna.)
One of the ladies talked about admiring her husband. Why? Because he never complains.
“I admire my spouse because he doesn’t complain.”
She went to on to detail her admiration and explained that though he worked very hard, every morning he got up – yet again – to go to work, without complaining.
He didn’t complain about the house, about the children, about a multitude of things in their life that she felt were quite worthy of complaint. She contrasted her response to his, and it was fully evident she respected and admired his non-complaining attitude and subsequent behavior.
This was my first time to meet this lady, and though I’ve never met her husband, boy-oh-boy, did I want to!
What great leadership qualities this man must possess…
When we admire our spouse, it impacts more than the two involved…
There is a ripple effect, which reaches an unimaginable number of people. See – all the ladies, married or not, around the bridal shower table, now know about this man whose wife admires him. You’re reading about this husband who doesn’t complain, and his wife who admires him. (How could I not write about this?)
Do you admire your husband or wife?
Have you ever told your spouse that you admire her/him, and why?
Maybe you’re having difficulty thinking of reasons you admire your spouse… or maybe expressing those reasons is hard for you. I’ve created a downloadable free resource to help you explore this idea. It grew out of a post I wrote years ago, “101 Phrases to Encourage Your Spouse”, and the companion video. This exercise is connected to the 7th phrase, “You’re amazing!”.
Cooking, Baking and Creating… oh my! That’s my friend Elise. She’s always encouraging her husband, and her family and friends with her cooking. I met Elise Johnson more than five years ago- she’s a wife, mom and chef. Her great big laugh, delightful conversation, and enthusiastic persona has been a blessing to our family. (Our sons were friends in college, and it was through them that we got know each other.) Some of the best cooking I’ve eaten has been sitting at her table, or trying out her recipes.
Cooking to Encourage Your Husband
Elise loves her husband – and when she cooks, she’ll often refer to how Mike enjoys this or that dish.
I appreciate how hard my husband works. He’s smart. He’s a hard worker. He is very thoughtful. Did I forget handsome? My hubby has been traveling a great deal the last month or so. When I found out that he was coming home for lunch today – I was happy. I decided to surprise him by making our family’s favorite homemade pizzas…
One of the pizzas she made, used her Greek Style Roasted Chicken. This chicken, roasted after sitting in a Greek style marinade, is so delicious.
Making the marinade:
In a large container with a lid, combine olive oil, garlic powder, oregano, basil, pepper, salt, onion powder, mustard, vinegar, parsley and feta cheese crumbles. Stir well.
Rinse your chicken under water (cleaning your sink immediately) dry the chicken off with paper towels and place in your marinade. Toss around to coat well. Refrigerate for 30 minutes or more.
Preheat your oven to 400 degrees F. Place chicken on a broiler pan lined with a grate that has been sprayed with a non-stick cooking spray. Place your chicken breasts on the grate and roast in the oven for 30 to 40 minutes until the inside is no longer pink and the juices run clear. You can also test the temperature. The proper temperature for chicken breasts should reach 165 Degrees F.
To get the list of exact ingredients and measurements, and more tips – go to Cooking with Elise for the full recipe! Click HERE!
Cooking with Elise
In addition to her many recipes on her website, Elise has a cookbook – “You Never Cook Alone” available on Amazon.
It has recipes with carefully detailed instructions, but more than that, it feels like a glimpse into the history of a family. From stories written by her sons, to memories of her grandmother (Vavo), to descriptions of fabulous family/friend events.
The book is organized into two parts – the first is 11 Eventful Meals, and the second part has recipes and stories arranged to feel like a culinary trip around the world (no passport necessary)! Tucked away into the last part of the book are organizational, money-saving & meal planning tips. It’s definitely more than ‘just’ some recipes in a book!
Check out the recipe – and try it for your spouse!
Is there a chicken recipe your spouse loves you to make – leave a comment and let us know.